Texting Ashton
Ashton: hey there
Ashton: haven't talked in a while have we, haha
Ashton: I miss you <3
Ashton: so how are you? hope you're doing well up there :)
Ashton: me? I guess I'm doing okay...
Ashton: actually
Ashton: that's a fucking lie
Ashton: I'm really not fine at all.
Ashton: how can one be fine after losing the love of their life?
Ashton: what did I ever do to result in me losing the most angelic, beautiful person to have ever walked the earth?
Ashton: I ask that question every night before I sleep. But it seems to never get answered. Hmm.
Ashton: the boys think I'm crazy. but they've never been in love like I have.
Ashton: they've never fallen in love with someone who isn't there anymore.
Ashton: they've never had a(n) (Y/N).
Ashton: it's been two months since you completely vanished from my arms. It's all my fault.
Ashton: that fight we had last night was all my fault. I never should have accused you of cheating on me, I know you would NEVER do anything like that.
Ashton: I should've stopped you when you ran out of the house. I should've stopped you when you ran out into the street in the middle of the night, and in the middle of a storm.
Ashton: I wish I could've stopped that truck. I wish I could kill that drunk driver who took your life - who took you away from me.
Ashton: he's in jail now but it doesn't do anything. it doesn't bring you back to me in your rightful place - my arms.
Ashton: I haven't forgiven myself since that horrible night.
Ashton: now I'm living my worst nightmare everyday - a world without you in it.
Ashton: Calum thinks I'm crazy for "still" being upset over the loss of you. It's only been two months, and he doesn't understand.
Ashton: the only person who can relate is Michael. However he just distances himself from everyone in complete isolation, something I wish I could do.
Ashton: but man, people are EVERYWHERE. they just won't leave you alone
Ashton: you always loved how outgoing I was. I'm determined to be that same person - the person you fell in love with.
Ashton: do you still love me? even though I'm the reason you're up there...
Ashton: every morning I wake up with you in my mind. and every night I fall asleep with you haunting my every thought. you're always there, I can feel you...
Ashton: but you're not here. it's just an illusion.
Ashton: please come back
Ashton: nobody can fill the void you once filled with pure happiness. you were my reason for everything
Ashton: and now I have nothing.
Ashton: performing without you in the crowd just isn't enough.
Ashton: every fucking interview they never ask about you - it pisses me off. How dare they forget the love of my life? How dare they forget the reason I was happy for two years?
Ashton: and Luke's daily hugs are sweet, but they aren't enough. Because they aren't yours.
Ashton: maybe if I close my eyes one day you'll reappear. you'll come back.
Ashton: I'm in your hometown at the moment and I keep visiting your grave in the middle of the night. I put some nice roses on it, I know you liked roses. they're plastic because I want them to stay there forever. I don't want them to die because it feels like you are the roses now.
Ashton: your grave is beautiful just like your face. I miss you so much.
Ashton: In loving memory of (Y/N)
(Y/L/N)
Ashton: [insert year you were born] - 2015
Ashton: "a kind soul with kind eyes who is now where they belong."
Ashton: I like that quote.
Ashton: oh yeah
Ashton: I got your initials tattooed on my wrist
Ashton: now you're permanently inked to my skin just like you are to my brain
Ashton: I keep looking at the selfies we took together. The one of us kissing is still my lock screen.
Ashton: I love you.
Ashton: please
Ashton: please
Ashton: please
Ashton: please
Ashton: please
Ashton: please
Ashton: please
Ashton: don't leave me.
Ashton: come back.
Ashton: please.
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I FEEL LIKE YOU GUYS WANT TO MURDER ME NOW IVDHBAHMPBU IM SORRY
QOTC: what year were you born?
my answer: 2000
it's awesome bc I can never forget my age lol
love you to the moon and back xx
