Texting Luke
Luke: I never really knew what pain was
Luke: I mean, I felt it physically
Luke: but never anything like this.
Luke: Calum said I said I should've expected it, what with you being in the hospital in and out all your life
Luke: they told me you weren't going to live a long and easy life, that the cancer was too hard to fight
Luke: let me tell you something - the biggest battle you have to fight is the grief over the lost of someone you love
Luke: right now, I'm losing.
Luke: I'm losing because I didn't lose anybody of the ordinary, no, I lost a(n) (Y/N)
Luke: you were so special to everyone.
Luke: but you still are special, to me.
Luke: Heaven eventually gains their angels back they say, but I think they should spare a few of them here on earth don't you think? we need Angels. we need you.
Luke: I need you.
Luke: you were my angel.
Luke: you ARE my angel.
Luke: only Ashton and Michael knows what it feels like. they're still hurting, and that scares me.
Luke: I don't want to be 80 years old and still mourning the loss over someone who could've done a whole lot better than some wannabe punk rock lead singer of a band lol
Luke: you deserved the world. you deserved all the stars. I wish I could've given it to you before you... left.
Luke: yeah, you didn't die
Luke: you just left
Luke: forever
Luke: shit
Luke: you never deserved any of it. you never deserved any of the pain or the suffering. I wanted it go away but I didn't want YOU to go with it.
Luke: I love you
Luke: and if I'm being honest...
Luke: I don't think I could ever stop even if someone put a gun to my head and tried to force me
Luke: I begged the cemetery to leave the space beside you open so when I die, I can lay next to you. Forever.
Luke: I remember before you left two weeks ago
Luke: you were so scared.
Luke: you were crying so hard and I held onto your hand like I'd die if I didn't hold it
Luke: and I said, "it's okay to cry. It's okay to be afraid. but baby, it's not okay to let yourself be in pain. you'll feel better if you let go."
Luke: that night you died in my arms.
Luke: and your beautiful face looked so at ease. and I couldn't help but smile because you weren't in pain anymore - something I've wanted for. so why am I sad?
Luke: oh yeah, 'cause I don't have you anymore.
Luke: I'm still going to call you a winner. even though you didn't "win" the battle, you fought it. you didn't give up and that's what a winner is
Luke: you're my winner, baby. Even in heaven you're still good at life
Luke: oh yeah
Luke: baby
Luke: I wrote a new song
Luke: it's called "(Y/N)" and I play it to your grave every night
Luke: a song only between you and I. nobody else
Luke: so yeah
Luke: I lost you
Luke: and in losing you,
Luke: I also lost myself.
----------------------------------------
don't kILL ME I HAVE TO BE ALIVE TODAY IS MY BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY
next one is the last sad imagine. I swear
QOTC: fanfiction recommendations?
my answer: I have a lot but to save time I'll say: grey matter by seasidestyles
love you to the moon and back xx
(P.S. Does anybody else say "down the shore" when going to the beach like I do?? or is it only people who live in new jersey...)
