Texting Ashton
Ashton: hey!! :)
You: MY LIPS ARE RED FOR THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES, AND MY NAILS ARE BLACK FOR THE REPRESENTATION OF MY HEART AND SOUL
Ashton: ok this was a mistake
Ashton: *slowly zayns outta here before things get too messy*
You: I'm sorry
You: I get like this whenever I have pizza and I'm watching reruns of Friends
Ashton: well damn, you can take it down a notch
You: actually, I will not take it down a notch, Fletcher.
Ashton: oh my fucking hell
Ashton: that's not my fucking name
Ashton: it's my middle name, stop calling me Fletcher
You: okay...
You: *looks to the left*
You: *looks to the right*
You: *whispers under breath* Fletcher
Ashton: g o t t a b l a s t
You: ok ok I'm sorry
Ashton: you won't call me Fletcher anymore? :(
You: no
Ashton: promise?
You: I promise :-)
Fletcher: thank you babe <3
You: no problem :D
Fletcher: so pizza, eh? ;)
You: don't you fucking think about laying your large bear hands on my fucking pizza or I will slice them off courtesy of the fangs from my vampire costume from last halloween u punk rock kangaroo
Fletcher: ...
Fletcher: I'm already on my way, lolz
You: fine. it's your death wish
Fletcher: oh c'mon (Y/N). you wouldn't dare hurt me physically on purpose just for a slice of pizza lol
You: just fucking try
Fletcher: aw
Fletcher: cuxHoocdykogsrgkoh
You: wtf
You: did the devil finally corrupt you ash? :)
Fletcher: no... I tripped on a pebble
You: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Fletcher: it's not funny :( remember when you tripped on a LEAF in year nine? I never laughed out loud (only on the inside
You: I told you to never bring that up ever again Fletcher -_-
Fletcher: hey!! you promise you wouldn't call me that anymore
You: the promises went down the toilet with the rest of the shit I get for putting up with you
Fletcher: :(
Fletcher: I don't even remember why I texted you in the first place, you're a monster when it comes to pizza
You: and embarrassing memories *shudders*
Fletcher: I'm outside ur house now
You: that's nice
Fletcher: let me in
You: I'll let you in when I finish my pizza
Fletcher: (Y/N) please
Fletcher: THERE'S A FUCKING SKUNK OUT HERE LET ME THE FUCK IN
You: did it spray you? go away, now you're really not coming in
Fletcher: it didn't spray me but it's going to if yOU DONT LET ME THE HELL IN
Fletcher: DONT YOU HERE MY SHRIEKS FROM OUTSIDE
You: yes. you should really be quiet, the neighbors might call the police
Fletcher: (Y/N)!!
You: ugh, fine.
Fletcher: was that so hard?
You: actually, yes. I had to get out of the comfort of my bed to save you. and it wasn't even a damn skunk, it was just a squirrel you ding dong
Fletcher: squirrels can be very dangerous
You: how long are you even staying? you take up half the bed, I'm going to end up sleeping on top of you
Fletcher: I don't mind ;)
You: -_-
Fletcher: wait... there are four boxes of pizza and two of them are empty
You: I saved the other two for you
Fletcher: aww #friendshipgoals
You: lol jk they're all for me
Fletcher: meanie
You: that's my middle name
You: well, actually my middle name is Death
Fletcher: (Y/N) Death (Y/L/N)?
Fletcher: I have a lot of questions for your parents...
Fletcher: you may be a demon child
You: that'd be cool
Fletcher: or a robot
You: holy shit that'd be even cooler
Fletcher: so we've been sitting in silence for awhile
Fletcher: aren't you going to talk at all?
You: ...
You: ...
You: ...
You: *places hand on your knee* are you feeling it now mr. krabs
Fletcher: oh boy
Fletcher: what the hell am I going to do with you? xx
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I tried to watch scream queens the other day but I go too scared plus the offensive terms were bothering me
I just wanted to know who the red devil was man not watch a lady get her face burnt off now I'm scarred
QOTC: what's you favorite song currently?
my answer: Hey Everybody! by 5sos (of course) and Victorious by p!atd
love you to the moon and back xx
