Out of Time [Brian Jones]

Salt Of Earth

*

When I search a faceless crowd
A swirling mass of gray and black and white
They don't look real to me
In fact, they look so strange
Raise your glass  

*

I am different.

I know things I shouldn't know, things nobody should know. Death was a mystery to most, but not for me. One touch is all I need to know how and when somebody was going to die. I don't know why or even how I do it. It just appears in my mind and never leaves it. I no longer saw people, I saw their deaths. The only one I don't know is my own, and that scared me more than anything.

Therefor I spend most of my time drowning my thoughts in a bottle of whiskey. I don't really have friends. Just Mary, who was at the moment inside throwing herself at some singer and I needed to keep an eye on her.

I exhaled. That was about right and my cigarette was nearly finished as well. I returned back in and went straight to the counter and ordered a new drink, only to run into someone I had forgotten over everything.

"Here you are, Mick said, Brian made you run away, but your friend meant you wouldn't leave without saying anything, seems like she was right. Let's go back to the others. I promise I keep Brian away. You know you're like the first girl to run away from him. Normally he's quite popular." He laughed. "Oh and sorry about the drink, I'll pay the next round."

I sighed, seems like there was no way I was getting away now.

"'s fine."

He took my arm to guide us through the bar or to make sure I was really following him and again a vision invaded my mind. Like with Mary I wondered how he was going to live that long. Not that I wished his death, but he didn't seem like someone to turn something down and still his life had a long way ahead, not like this Brian. I felt bad, but there probably was nothing I could do about it.

Of course I had tried to save someone before, but normally it didn't turn out so very well. Just once I had changed something, but the other times it hadn't really worked out. The first person I really tried to save was my mother. I was still a child back then, but already knew what my visions meant. I knew she was going to die in a car crash and did everything I could to keep her inside that day, away from any cars, but the vision didn't change. It was nearly 5 o'clock and we were in the garden, me and my brother playing ball. I thought that soon it would be dark and she would be save, but I was never so wrong in my life... I paid more attention to my mum than to my little brother and kicked the ball with too much force. It rolled on the street and my brother run after it and my mother after him. I just stood there and saw my little brother die. I had saved my mother, but killed my brother. Her fate changed, but not for the best. She hung herself two years later and it was all my fault. I was all alone with my guilt and had to move in with my grandparents. From then on I promised myself to stay mostly clear out of people's way.

The second time it was just somebody I randomly touched in the streets on his actual death day. It was dumb luck, but I was 15 and believed maybe I could make a difference and lessen my guilt. I tried talking to him, but all it did was that he called me crazy, went home and died any way. Thinking back on it, he probably was right it sounded totally barmy, but I just felt like I needed to say anything.

After that I definitely tried to stay away from people. It was a lot easier. Well at least until Mary was concerned. She had trouble fitting in, because she was from a well off family and tried to fit in with the well lesser off, causing the people judging her on both sides. Her family couldn't stand her behaviour and the others felt like she didn't belong there either. I didn't really care, because well I stayed out of most people's business anyway and Mary saw in me a chance to have a buddy to go out. At first it annoyed me a great deal, I just wanted to be left on my own, but Mary didn't give up and I started to ask myself why I shouldn't be friends with her. She had a long life ahead of her, so I probably didn't have to worry about her dying on me and even if death was my constant companion didn't mean that I didn't feel lonely. We became friends and the only death I successfully changed became her brother's.