Out of Time [Brian Jones]

Confessin' The Blues

Baby here I stand before you
With my heart in my hand
I put it to you mama
Hoping that you'll understand
*

My head hurt and the bed felt so comfortable, but it was already bright outside and I knew I needed to get up. I slowly sat up, trying not to wake Brian, like usual he had his arm around me and I just had to smile at the view. It really wasn't so bad after two weeks of sleeping on Mary's or well my couch to be back here. Not only because I finally had a bed again to sleep in, but I really had missed him no matter how annoying he sometimes could be.

I had no idea what time we had left... Well Charlie had practically thrown us out, but it had been late and I had drunk more than I had actually planned on thanks to Keith, who always saw it as his duty to refill my glass as soon as it was next to empty. It hadn't been that bad, but still it was enough for a small hungover. My throat was dry, but besides that and a small headache, I was strangely fine. Still I felt like I wanted to stay in bed for the rest of the day, but I probably needed to get up sooner than later.

Yesterday going home with Brian had sounded like a good idea, because I had been dead tired and didn't want to sleep on a couch, but now I had second thoughts. There still were some things we hadn't resolved between us and we probably should before we could go back to where we had led off or everything was going to start all over again. The discussions ending in him throwing me out, me walking all over his feelings and this strangely new attraction we had for each other or I at least for him. Brian always had made passes at me and I wasn't sure if this was only a continuation of this or if this was something different... Unlike before this felt more real and honest. In the past it was more like he would have nothing against the idea if I had sex with him, but just for the sake of it. Yesterday and even some time before, it felt more like he actually cared for me than just wanting to sleep with me. Still I wasn't stupid, even if Brian treated me differently than other girls, didn't mean that he honesty had feelings for me.

Happily nothing else had happened beside the kiss on Charlie's terrace and that had been forced. Maybe this wasn't as bad as it looked then, I tried to convince myself but who was I kidding? Luckily I had been so dead tired yesterday, that the minute I had sat down in his car I had fallen asleep and he had nearly dragged me to bed. I didn't want to think what could have happened... I shook my head. We definitely needed to talk about this. I was here to help him and not to warm his bed and I surely didn't want to jeopardize whatever relationship we had, only because I maybe felt attracted to him. Therefore it probably was best if I returned for now to Mary's and contacted him later. Having this discussion only in my underwear in his bed sounded like a very bad idea. I was just about to get up, when I heard somebody groan behind me and I sighed. There went my silent escape.

"Morning," Brian mumbled and then frowned, when he saw me. "Don't tell me you want to run off again?" He asked and sat up next to me.

I sighed. "I need to get home..."

"I thought you wanted to stay with me..."

"I want to... it's just I need to shower and some fresh clothes would be nice..." 

"Mary left some things here, didn't she tell you?" He laughed and I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Guessing by your face, she didn't. Come on, let's sleep some more." He pulled me towards him and we lay down again. My head was on his chest and he brushed my hair with his fingers. I wanted to say something, but my thought were elsewhere. I couldn't believe that Mary had just decided to leave my stuff here and what even more surprised me was that I hadn't even remarked that something was missing. She really must have been sure that we would end up together again.... On the other hand she had threatened me to call him sometime... and I suppose leaving my stuff here gave her something to force me too if I didn't.