Out of Time [Brian Jones]

Under My Thumb

The girl who once pushed me around
It's down to me
The difference in the clothes she wears
Down to me, the change has come,
She's under my thumb
Ain't it the truth babe?
*

"Seriously? Can't you just wait until you're home or something...? I get it you missed each other, but Watts didn't invite you to elope on his terrace." Keith exclaimed.

"At least they're still wearing clothes..." Mick added.

"For now, I don't want to know what would have been if we had come around 10 minutes later..."

They were exaggerating, of course. Brian and me, were just hugging, nothing more and still I probably blushed a horribly shade of red, when Keith and Mick interrupted us. I was about to move away from Brian, when he pulled me back towards him and hid my face on his shoulder for which I was rather thankful. "Very funny. What do you even want?" Brian said.

"Well sorry for interrupting your moment, but we wanted to have a smoke and you know Shirley rules about that... Want one as well?" Keith asked and I felt Brian nodding. "I don't expect Charlie wants one too..."

I took a deep breath and I think I was calm enough to face them, but definitely not enough to stay here. "No thanks. I think I go back in. I need a drink..." I practically run back in and the last thing I heard was Keith laughing and asking Brian what he had done to me. I just shook my head and again took a deep breath to calm myself down, even if it was no help. The suspicious I had that maybe Brian did indeed mean more to me than he should stayed and it scared me, because I had no idea what to do. I couldn't ignore this forever, someday this would catch up and it would only get messier. Something neither he nor I could afford, but I couldn't act on it neither. Brian would never want me for real, he might sleep with me, but that would be all he would ever offer me, no matter what the others thought and even if Brian wanted more of me, who knew how that would influence this partnership? The best solution for me was to ignore my feelings as good as I could and to move on. Perhaps I wasn't even really attracted to him, but just confused, because he was the first man to ever come so close to me... I wondered if it could be that easy. Nothing had been until this point, so why should this be?

I shook my head to get rid of these thoughts. I needed a drink very badly. I got back to the dining room, but nobody was there any longer and I supposed they had moved to the living room. Before I went there I emptied my glass and the wine bottle left on the table. I hated wine, but at this point I didn't care. I just needed something to forget.

"Oh Charlotte, is everything alright?" Charlie asked as I entered the living room. I had no idea how I looked but I felt very awkward. I shook my head. I just needed to calm down and everything would get better. There were only Bill, Charlie and Stu, I wondered where the others had disappeared to, but a different matter seemed more important in that moment.

"Sure, could I have a drink please?"

"What would you like? A tea? Coffee?" Charlie asked.

That wasn't really want I had in mind, but I felt bad for asking for something more. "Really? She asks for a drink and you offer her tea? Just give her the same you would have given Keith or anybody who's after an alcohol poising and just fill it up like it is water or something." Bill said. Charlie looked a bit bewildered for a moment, but did indeed purr me a glass, except that he didn't make it full like Bill had proposed for which I was rather thankful.

I rolled my eyes, but was actually quite grateful for Bill's remark. "You know that destroys the taste." He shrugged. "Thanks." I said towards Charlie and took a sip or rather I gulped it down. I really needed to get these thoughts out of my head and it was nice to drink again after Mary practically had hidden every liquor she still had.