Out of Time [Brian Jones]

If You Need Me

*
If you need me
Why don't you call me
Said if you need me
Why don't you call me
Don't wait too long
When things go wrong
I'll be there, yeah
*

That was the last time I saw Keith in person for quite some time. He called me a few times and we talked, but we didn't meet up again. I supposed he was busy and it wasn't like he owned me something. It was rather the other way around, but I didn't really know how what to do in such circumstances. I did ask him to go out have a drink with me to thank him, but he turned me down and promised he would after the show. I didn't really understand why, but I assumed he had no time or that I would find the reason out on the 10th. Mary was more than happy when she heard about Keith's invitation and was still dead set on the idea of Keith and me dating, no matter how many times I explained it to her. I think there was something more behind it than just the friendly suspicion. She wanted it to be true, but I had no idea why. I didn't see why it would give her any advantage or anything if I was dating him or not.

Monday after my break down I went to work like usually, even though I still felt pretty bad, but I needed the money now more than ever, if I really wanted to get away. I hadn't talked about my plans with Mary, because I suspected she would like to come along and I had messed enough with people's life for some time, if not forever. I definitely should start to stay away from people in the future. It was for the best for them and me. I couldn't be part of their life and I surely didn't need to be reminded of that.

By Wednesday I felt like my usual self again and Mary decided that needed celebration. I was warry of that proposition, I needed to save money and celebrating wasn't a move in the right decision, but I could hardy turn her down completely and I actually didn't want to. I enjoyed our time together and especially if I was going to leave I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her even if we cut the evening short. By twelve o'clock, I was home in bed and had only had 2 or 3 drinks, a lot less than on our usual night outs.

The same on the weekend, I couldn't even remember when the last time had been I was in bed at that time. Mary was a tad suspicious, but I blamed it on my last 'alcohol' misadventure. I still hadn't told her the whole truth and didn't know if I ever was going to. It didn't really matter anyway, neither had I told her about Brian. Well beside the fact that he had saved me, she knew nothing about the whole ordeal and I preferred it staying that way. Even though I would have liked to talk to somebody about it. I mean I had no idea what to do in this situation. Should I call him up and say sorry? Or should I wait until he comes around? I definitely lacked people skills, but I guessed in this situation it was the best for me to stay away until he had calmed down or to wait until the 10th and see what his reaction towards me was and if his vision had changed again, before I do something.

I still wondered why his death had changed so abruptly, that had never before been the case. What was so different about him? It drove me crazy. I caught myself a few times a day thinking about Brian and his mysterious death, whatever I did in the end my thoughts wandered back to him and I didn't like it one bit. Death should be a pretty final business and not changing his mind on a whim. I probably should forget about him, I was going to leave and the matter of Brian Jones death won't be my problem any longer like it should have been right from the start. I was going to read about it in some paper and that was all the relationship I should have with him.

Sadly my decision to leave him alone was a one sided business.

It was Thursday, a week and a half after my breakdown, when I saw him. Mr Evan and Ben were handling some business in the back and I was at the front if some new customer came in. If being the term here. It was quiet and there was nothing to do than sit there and pass some time. I nearly wished for somebody to come in, but I probably wouldn't have if I had known who would walk through the door.