Out of Time [Brian Jones]

Sittin' On A Fence

*
You can say I got no sense
Trying to make up my mind
Really is too horrifying
So I'm sittin' on a fence
*

Sun shone through the window and I groaned. I felt horribly. My body hurt all over and everything was so dizzy. I tried to sit up and felt like vomiting. I tried to concentrate on anything, but my stomach. That's when I felt it, somebody had his arm around me and I just screamed. It hurt like hell. He groaned, turned his face to me and I remembered everything what had happened yesterday. Mary, Keith, the others, Brian, my accident and the rescue.

"Please don't tell me you remember nothing of yesterday..." Brian mumbled. He sounded still very sleepy and rather annoyed. My scream had probably woken him up, furthermore he didn't really seem like a morning person to begin with.

"Sorry...I do... I was just... startled..." My voice sounded really bad.

He sighed. "Well ok then at least I don't have to remind you or something..."

"I'm sorry..." I whispered.

He frowned confused. "Why?"

"You saved me..." and I had just wanted to let him die...

"Wouldn't a thank you be more appropriated?" I was just about to answer when he grabbed me and pulled me back down to him. "Listen, I'm still tired, can't we just sleep for another hour or two and then we'll get up, eat something and talk?" I nodded. I was still tired as well and the way I was feeling now I highly suspected that some more sleep really wouldn't hurt. "Relax" He said and with that he hugged me again and I soon drifted off back to sleep.

The next time I woke up, there was somebody ringing the bell and I sat up. I felt a bit better, but still pretty fucked up and the annoying ringing didn't really help. Brian didn't move and the noise continued. I shook him gently and he grumbled, but turned at least towards me.

"The door..." I mumbled. My voice was still in a very bad shape, but no surprise there I hadn't really done anything to help it. I probably needed something to drink.

"I don't care... Still too early..." He muttered.

I sighed. I couldn't really force him to open the door and neither could I open it. It wasn't my home and I wasn't even really a guest per definition. I supposed Brian had just taken me to his, because he didn't know where else to go and even if I got up, I probably would fall back down again, considering how shit I felt.

The ringing continued, whoever it was, really wanted to make sure Brian opened the door.

He groaned, but finally got up. "It better be important. You stay here..."

I just nodded. The way I was feeling at the moment I highly doubted I would move anywhere, especially around someone's house I didn't know. He put some trousers and a shirt on and left. That's when it really hit me. I had been with him in the shower naked and later on slept with him in the same bed, because I had well not really jumped, but fallen into the river and he had saved me. The colour drained from my face. Blimey... I never was the most optimistic one, but killing myself... I... The thought had crossed my mind a few times, sure, but I never would have gone through with it... Well technically I hadn't, I suppose... It had been more of an accident than a suicide attempt and still I had thought about it... I probably never should drink anything again... I sighed. As if, I'll probably stop for a week or less until Mary dragged me to a bar again or I was alone at home and it just sounded too tempting to pass by. Maybe I really needed to get away for some time and just be on my own, to calm down again and move on with my life. Especially away from Brian, yesterday I hadn't really thought about anything, because I had other things to worry about, but now I really felt awkward. He had seen me naked and probably at the worst point of my life. I needed to get away. Get my life together again. The way it was going now, it couldn't go on anymore.