Out of Time [Brian Jones]

Good Times, Bad Times

A.N.: Last chapter was missing some Brian, so hopefully this makes up for it... Warning:  A  tiny bit mature content ahead, I guess... and the usual sad, vision dying stuff.  

*

Remember the good times we've had together
Don't you want them back again
Though these hard times are bugging me now

*

I thought I was dreaming at first, because it simply felt too good to be true.

I could smell Brian's shampoo as he kissed my neck, which made me smile. It had something flowery and kinda girlish about it and I knew if I pointed that out to him, he would have argued about how manly his shampoo was. Snickering to myself I took another deep breath of his smell and hoped this dream would never end. 

Brian's kisses had now moved down my back to my shoulder blade, which made me shiver and him smile.  His hands I only now noticed wandered from my stomach upwards and I was sure I had squealed at his squeezing touch. 

"I want you... " he whispered seductively and I wasn't sure what had made me tremble in anticipation. His voice, his touch, his hot breath on my naked cold skin or the offer to be intimate with him. I wanted to tell him how much I wanted to be with him as well, but the only sound that left my mouth was a moan. For Brian however that was more than enough as an answer. In a heartbeat, he had changed positions and laid me on my back. His hands were wandering again and though my mind was awake I still wondered if I was only dreaming or if this was really happening.

It was so normal and at the same time so special.... Those moments in which we weren't anything else than Brian and Charlie, two people in love. It was pure bliss, but also so heartbreaking short. Maybe we could forget the future for a moment, but time was running out. It were barely 3 weeks left and every touch reminded me of our numbered relationship. Though we tried no to mention it and Brian furthermore either didn't let go off me, once he had touched me or avoided touching me on accident, the knowledge never left us. It hung over us like a dark shadow, which manipulated and poisoned every little thing we did or thought about. However not everything was completely bad, Brian had for instance called his parents and I think they had found an agreement. I still didn't know what had gone wrong in between them, but it had to mean a lot a to Brian. I've seen him troubled on many occasions, yet none came close to the moment he dialed their number. His tension soon calmed down, when he started talking and I left him some privacy. I had wanted to help him through everything, yet I felt like this was something Brian had to do on his own. After all it might be the last chance he got to talk with his parents and I didn't want to disturb. I might have been Brian's wife and their daughter in law, but this was something solely between them. 

I'd made some tea and waited for him to finish until I returned to the room. It took a while, but I didn't mind. After all, I'd give Brian all the time I could if I had the chance, wouldn't I? In some moments I still felt like I should give my life up for him, but I feared what that might trigger... I've seen Brian die many times, however none of these visions had shaken me like the one where he had willingly jumped off a bridge... because of me. In a twisted messed up sense it was ironic, he'd choose the exact same way to leave this world than what had got us together in the first place. What made it even more unfair, was the circumstance that if neither he nor I had fallen in love, I could have given my life up for him and he could have lived. How cruel was it that love would be what screwed us over in the end? 

Still I wouldn't want to give up on this feeling for anything in the world, I thought as I gave myself to Brian. 

Maybe our days we're numbered, but it didn't mean we couldn't enjoy what we had as long as it lasted nor that a day spend in bed was a waste.