Out of Time [Brian Jones]

No Expectations

*
Take me to the station
And put me on a train
I've got no expectations
To pass through here again
*

I had drunk way more than I actually planned on. One drink became two and so on. Mary was way over and I was on the best way there. I brought her home and really wished for her sake that she would be fine in the morning. I had to work as well, but I had more experience working with a hungover than she did and I wasn't so bad, at least compared to her. She hadn't even been able to finish her last two drinks and I had to drink them, because it would have been a pity to let them go to waste.

It was already late, when I finally had gotten her in bed and I still needed to get back to Brian's. My couch looked so tempting, but I couldn't do that. I knew this would be unfair towards him. No matter how late Brian went out, he usually came back home and I couldn't just stay away after I had promised him I wouldn't leave him again. That surely wouldn't sit well with him, especially not if he knew why I had. I still couldn't see why he had such a problem with me drinking, when he was not in the slightest better, but that was Brian. A breathing contradiction or maybe he wasn't and I was just too dumb to understand him.

The ride home was mostly a blur. I was dead tired and just wanted to sleep. I probably should have taken a cab, but that would have just been money thrown out the window, even if I had saved up some, didn't mean I needed to spend it on unnecessary things. I wasn't that drunk, I was just lazy and that wasn't a valuable reason to take a cab, but it would have been at least faster. It was after midnight, when I finally arrived at Brian's, but there still was light on and he was usually not one to go to bed early.

"Where were you?" I hadn't even closed the door when I heard his voice. I sighed. I really wasn't in the mood for a discussion. I only wanted to go to bed, but I doubted Brian would care about that.

"Out with Mary..." I just mumbled.

"You weren't at work today." I raised my eyebrows. How did he know that? "I wanted to pick you up and your boss told me you had called in sick yesterday. So where were you?"

"Out... Needed to clear my head." I replied. This really wasn't going in the right direction, I thought.

"Where?" He got hold of my arm. Old. Sick. Death. I furrowed my brows, this somehow had screamed like one of his bad moods, but who was I to complain, when he was in a good mood even if it surprised me a tad or maybe I was more drunk than I thought I was and already imaging things.

I sighed relieved. "Shopping, presents... You know its's Christmas soon... I just needed some peace and quiet." I tried to explain, but somehow I doubted he would listen.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

I frowned. What was wrong with him? He shouldn't have been so understanding, but instead he should have told me to- I had no idea, but not this... Why couldn't he be the same person for two days straight? I didn't understand him a bit. His death, his behaviour, his well everything...

"Because I didn't want you to go with me! You make everything more complicated!" I cursed I didn't mean to say that... "Brian, I didn't mean... I don't know... I am just so damn confused. Fuck..."

He sighed. "How drunk are you?"

"Maybe that explains it..." I mumbled more to myself than him.

"Let's get you to bed then... But you know, you could have told me so I wouldn't have minded if you needed some space..." He approached me as if he wanted to help me, but I waved him off. I didn't need his help.

"Really? Since when?" I asked, but at least he was right with the go to bed bit. I took my shoes and my coat off. Sadly my balance wasn't really helping and I fell down.