Out of Time [Brian Jones]

Honest I Do

  Don't you know that I love you
Honest I do
I'll never please
No one but you 
*

(A.N.: this is kind of the rest of last chapter, hence it's a bit short. Sorryy...)

Brian might have been right that we never could have a normal life, but it nearly felt like we could. It was strange, but in a way being away really made it easier to forget everything else that was going on at least for a minute. If it weren't for the recurring death vision whenever Brian touched me I might even have been able to completely ignore our problems for once, but in the end death never seemed too far away, which made me wonder.

He hadn't explicit said that he didn't want to talk about it, but he didn't need to for me to know that he didn't want to. He hardly was in the mood under normal circumstances and I doubted he was now when he just had wished to get away from everything.

Usually Brian and I didn't go out that much, to be honest we didn't even spend that much time together considering we were living in the same house, beside maybe on the weekends, but here he definitely tried and I supposed that was his attempt at a distraction. I maybe couldn't get rid of the visions, but neither could Brian forget what exactly I was seeing. He had never voiced it, but I knew I had to remind him about his own death and I nearly wondered for the millionth time why he was staying with me.

Without me he would have had more freedom and surely could have enjoyed his time better... Yet he really was considerate of me, we didn't go anywhere overly crowded or did anything really exciting, but simple things instead and I had to admit it was fun.

We had just returned from a drive to another town or rather from a shopping trip at least from Brian's part and even though I still had mixed feelings about the way he spent his money, it had been quite the experience. Shopping with Mary had already been an adventure for me, but Brian topped it easily. It had been quite astonishing to watch and it had been somewhat fun even, maybe except for our minor fight when he wanted to buy me something. I still couldn't see what his problems were with my clothes. I might not dress as flamboyant as him, but my clothes always matched each other and they were decently, at least for my standards.

Then again my standards were surely not Brian's.

After we finally got back to the hotel I nearly threw myself on the bed due to exhaustion. Brian was putting away his things, making me think about something that hadn't crossed my mind before.

I took a deep breath and sat up on the bed to have a better look at Brian or rather his reaction. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he replied shrugging.

"I- Did you ever think about what will happen to your things if you die?" I mumbled as fast as I could.

Brian stopped in his movement and I could clearly see that I had caught him off guard. "You mean if I have a will?"

I bid my lip. "Maybe? I mean there are so many people who don't and most of the time it ends in a mess and especially in your case that seems highly likely. Even if you don't die, it's never wrong to have a will. It saves your family and friends a lot of trouble."

"You probably want me to arrange my funeral as well?" he remarked bitterly and turned away from me.

"Sorry I maybe went too far... I suppose I'm too used to this kind of talk..."

I heard him sigh. "It's okay... I mean I thought about it too, I don't want to have everything thrown away or I don't know stolen by fans or whatever. There are things that mean a lot to me and I wouldn't like to see them in the wrong hands..."