Out of Time [Brian Jones]

I'm Free

   I'm free any old time to get what I want
I'm free to choose what I please any old time
I'm free to choose what I please any old time
So hold me, love me, love me, hold me
* 

"It's going to be fine."

I had no idea how often I had said these exact words already today. Probably too often to believe them anymore and I doubted Brian did either, but what else was I supposed to do? I could see Brian was tense, nervous about what he was about to do. Some part of him didn't want to leave, even if it was the best option he had. His time was short, too short to waste if he really wanted to do something on his own. This was the only choice he had. He needed to leave. No matter how often I tried to reassure myself it still sounded wrong.

Brian hadn't talked much to me about it and after going through his stuff, I didn't feel like asking either, but even a blind man could see how much the Rolling Stones meant to him and I didn't want him to take the wrong decision. That's why I wasn't sure who exactly I was trying to calm with my 'everything is going to be fine' either. He or I? Probably a little bit of both.

Brian was holding my hand very tightly, for support as we made our way to the studio. Like I had promised I had come along, though I had to rely on Edgar again. The two weeks ultimatum wasn't up yet and theoretically I should have been working still. It was not much I missed, only half an hour that I had left earlier to be on time with Brian in the studio, but this meant another favour I had to ask of Edgar I would never repay.

His mother had about 8 days left to live and I was using him as I pleased, because he was too kind. I felt bad and wished for nothing more than today to be over. If Brian at least got what he wanted, we finally would have cleared something up, instead of just adding new things to our problems.

"I doubt it... but is has to be done," Brian concluded.

We were in the same room; I had been in before when Keith had picked me up and they had recorded the song Keith had hummed to me a few months ago. Somehow it felt so much longer ago than it really was, but so much had happened in so little time...

"Wow you're early for once," Bill greeted us. He was the only one from the Stones that already seemed to be here. There was no trace of the others, so we indeed must have been early or the others were late. Charlie Watts didn't seem the type to be late though and Bill as did Brian had probably a good reason to be early.

His was female and young, well younger than him at least and had probably wanted to see the studio and spend some time with Bill alone, before she watched the Stones record. That was what I at least suspected and considering what Brian was quietly mumbling to himself, my suspicions seemed to be right. I hadn't exactly understood it, but it sounded a lot like 'another one for the list'. I doubted Bill had heard him though or he had simply chosen to ignore Brian's comment.

"Oh hello Charlie, I didn't expect Brian to bring you around," Bill added.

I was about to reply, but Brian was faster. "Why shouldn't I? You brought a girl as well, didn't you?"

I squeezed his hand and send him a look that was supposed to mean 'please be polite', but I doubted Brian had understood it. He was in a bad mood and Bill was unlucky to be the first person to stumble across Brian.

"That's Holly. We-"

"I don't care," Brian interrupted him immediately. "I need something to drink... Come on Charlie," he said and pulled on my hand to leave again. "I'm sorry," was all I said before I turned my back on the couple as well and followed after Brian.

"Brian that wasn't very polite-" I tried to reason with him as soon as we were out of earshot, but I had hardly started off when he already interrupted me as well.