Out of Time [Brian Jones]

Lady Jane

 Oh, my sweet Marie
I wait at your ease
The sands have run out
For your lady and me
Wedlock is nigh my love
*  

"I know we didn't leave on the best terms, but I would be happy if you attend. Alone."

I hadn't heard from Mary since she had left after our fight, not that I hadn't wanted to call her... She was my best and well my only friend. Saying I didn't miss her was a lie- it was odd to think that I had given up her and even my friendship with Keith to be with Brian- I had thrown away the little I had for him, which I feared would have been a problem under every other circumstance, but this one. Brian had one month left. 

I couldn't believe in hope anymore, not when the only vision that had seemed not to come true just did Mary was getting married in a week and the only thing I could change about it was that I didn't attend and witness the whole thing... It was low, she was my friend and I wanted to make up with her, but I wasn't sure if I was in a state to attend. Every passing day I felt worse and worse, nerves all over the place and hardly any food that stayed with me. 

Mary would blame it on Brian again and I didn't want to hear anymore of "how bad he was for me", if one of us had destroyed our lives than it was me and my visions and not him. Though Mary's low opinion on Brian would offer me an excuse... if I told her I couldn't come, because Brian didn't want me to, Mary would be mad at both of us, but she would probably forget all about it the moment she saw the headline Brian Jones, dead at 27.

She might have been a lot of things but she wasn't heartless. I knew she would forgive me then and I-I could be friends with her again as if nothing had ever happened between us. 

"Oh here you are." Brian said and I felt his arm around me and his breath on my neck. Water. Suffocating. Death. "I thought-"

"Mary is getting married next week," I interrupted him, even if I hated myself for it. Brian could use this as much as I could, but he deserved to know and a direct approach usually was better with him. Whenever I tried to hide anything from him and he had found out about in the end, it had ended in a catastrophe.  

He didn't say anything.

"I won't go," I added and I heard him suck in a breath.

"I thought she was your friend..." he mumbled.

"I can't deal with this right now... I don't want to see another vision come true... Mary- She'll manage without me. You- need to do this statement thing next week, don't you? I-I could come with you?"

In all honesty I wanted to be present at neither and judging from Brian's expression, he very well knew that I was just making up excuses, not to go see Mary, but I didn't care. "I want to be there with you," I tried to reassure him, but his face only grew more suspicious. 

"Charlie-"

"Please..."

Brian sighed and momentarily I thought I had won. He seemed tired, but at the same time thankful. I wasn't sure, but I knew he could use every help he could get at the moment... July was just around the corner and with it his death.

 "Go to Mary, I'll manage on my own and if you're there with me it will only look wrong... as if you encouraged me to this step. It's best if you stay out of the spotlight. You're not good with attention and I fear that you'll have more then you can deal with it in a month's time... "

I bid my lip and gulped down the unwell feeling that always started to spread in my stomach whenever we talked about the future or rather his lack of one... I just couldn't bare the thought to wonder what would be after Brian was no longer here. It hurt and scared me more than anything, despite the visions in which I had looked happy... with our son.