Out of Time [Brian Jones]

Cry To Me

 Nothing could be sadder than a glass of wine alone
Loneliness loneliness, it just a waste of your time
But you don't ever you don't ever have to walk alone
You see, so c'mon take my hand
*  

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have done that. I'm just confused...," I dumbly mumbled after I had kissed Keith. It had only lasted for about a second, but that didn't make it any better, especially not when I had no idea why I had even done it in the first place. I had felt so alone and devastated and with Keith... he made me feel safe and at ease, which was everything I needed in that moment. Even though it wasn't fair to him, not only because I didn't like him in that way, but none of this mess was his fault and Brian would surely add none of his business as well, but I had made it his. Keith, if he wanted or not, was now involved in my and Brian's deal and I wasn't sure how Brian would react if he found out about it. Their relationship was strained without me even adding anything to it. "You won't tell Brian about it, will you?" I asked and moved further away from him, so that he was no longer touching me. The distance between us made me feel like I could maybe forget what had happened only minutes prior.

Keith took a deep breath before moving towards me again and put his arm around my shoulder to pull me closer. Old. Death. "About the kiss? No of course not, he would blame me and probably murder me, which I surely won't risk. On the other hand, if Brian planned to kill me you would warn me, wouldn't you?" I knew he was trying to lift the mood, but it wasn't working on me. This was too important and I was so scared about the future that nothing Keith could have said or done would have helped me relax and surely not this. I had more than enough death in my life and needed no jokes about it. 

"I meant about my visions and his death... I don't think he would take it well if he knew that I told you everything. Brian hardly can stand me meddling in his life and I doubt he would like it if you start as well," I mumbled staring down at my lap. I couldn't look at Keith, it made me feel really awkward and guilty. I hoped that these feelings would soon fade, because I certainly couldn't use another emotional mess with somebody. Mine and Brian's was worse enough and I could deal with that.

Keith sighed and started to gently caress my back. "You're right, he won't like that... Well I'll try to put in a good word for him with the others and give you some time to work with, but don't expect me to do that forever... He gets until August, if he's still alive and not doing shit, he's out. If you manage to turn him around, which I seriously doubt he can stay of course."

I trembled at the word August, was everyone going to set that as a death line, I wondered and bid my lip. I was unsure how to reply to that. Of course I was thankful for Keith's offer, but there was something that unnerved me. Was it really impossible for Brian to change? Keith knew him better than me, but I couldn't believe nor accept this. He might be right that it was naïve of me, however what other choices did I have than to hold onto that belief? Dropping Brian was no option for me.

"Let's forget about this for a minute and get you into bed. I think you had enough for today," Keith exclaimed as he patted my back a final time and got up from the couch. He held out his hand for me to take and pulled me up as well. Old. Death. " -room. You can sleep on your own I assume?"

I hadn't caught everything he had said, but it was enough to understand the context, even if that didn't help me at all. In all honesty I didn't want to be alone, especially when I doubted I could sleep in the first place. My thoughts wouldn't let me, but I had already relied so much on Keith for today. "I can..." I mumbled biting my lip.

I heard Keith sigh anew, he probably was getting tired of me and I couldn't blame him. I would too in his place. "You're an awful liar," he stated and lay his hand on my back to direct me through his home. Old. Death. "-with you, but promise me you won't start kissing me again or I might have to take you up on it. I'm only a man and I like you." Again I hadn't caught everything, but it didn't matter anyway Keith gave me no time to reply. "I'm surprised how Brian manages... On the other hand, that might explain why he was even sulkier than before or why you two argue so much." Keith chuckled even if I couldn't see what was so funny about it or what he really meant with it.