Out of Time [Brian Jones]

She Smiled Sweetly

*
Why do my thoughts loom so large on me?
They seem to stay, for day after day
And won't disappear, I've tried every way  
*

Keith wasn't too happy about just leaving. This time around he actually did get some drinks, which we had to drown in one gulp. Everything was starting to get hazy and dizzy and the only thing I could concentrate on was that I was going to have a huge hangover tomorrow and probably look like shit. At least nobody was complaining too much at my work, beside maybe my boss, but as long as I did my job right, he didn't care too much for my night time business until now at least. We all got into a cab and I  wondered how we all could have fit, but things work differently while drunk. 

Brian didn't say anything to me again and Keith was happily talking about something. I smiled and nodded a few times. In all honesty, I didn't catch a thing. My mind was blurred and all I could hear was Brian's words repeating over and over again inside my head and it scared me.

I can't say if the ride was short or long, I was just happy to be out of the car. Fresh air helped a great deal to clear my head and still it was so foggy... Everything happened in a blur and the next moment I sat on a couch with Keith, Brian, Mick and Mary with another glass in hand. I only sipped on it. I needed a break and the cab ride hadn't been long enough for the effects to wear off to a limit I could at least somewhat think straight. Keith was still talking about some concert or party, it really was a funny story and the alcohol probably helped me too, enjoying his company and well ignoring Brian. He was just sitting there looking at something only he could probably see and emptying his glass. He looked deep in thought and I wondered what he was thinking about.

"Charlie?" Keith asked. He must have said something, which couldn't be answered with a smile. 

"Pardon...?" I was surprised. My voice sounded way soberer than I was feeling and for the amount of alcohol I had consumed. Maybe I wasn't that drunk, or I was so drunk that I'm already imaging things. No that couldn't be. I had my fair share of drinks, but it was still on a reasonable scale, at least for me. I sighed, I was again overthinking things, which could only mean, I hadn't drunk enough. I gulped the remaining liquor down and I felt a slight burning in my throat.

Keith observed me curiously. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh... eh... No I was just thinking. Everything is fine. It's just getting late and well I have to work in the morning..."

"I guess you want to go home then?"

"I-" I looked around for Mary for help, but she was gone. "Eh... No." I sighed. "I'll stay a bit longer, if that's alright?"

Keith raised an eyebrow. "Why shouldn't it be? You don't bother me and I don't think Brian minds either." Brian didn't react. He didn't even look up, like Keith hadn't just mentioned his name. "Want another drink?"

I just nodded. I was a mess, I was too drunk to notice that Mary was gone, but still clear enough to overanalyse things. Typical. I sighed.

Old. Wrinkled. Peace. Death. Keith. He must have touched me. Out of surprise I jumped. The glass fell and shattered. Then, dizziness, loneliness. I tried to get away as fast as I could, but something held me there. Water, suffocating, death. Brian. My head cleared up and I saw him holding me and observing every move I made. His eyes had a strange glow and held a hypnotising sadness. Something was off about him. Maybe his death was no accident, but a suicide? I knew to less about him to be sure about it, but his eyes were so sad. Something was not right. Perhaps I- No! I shouldn't bother, it's not my business. I shook my head and turned away from him.