Out of Time [Brian Jones]

Paint It Black

*

I look inside myself and see my heart is black 
I see my red door I must have it painted black 
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black 

*

Keith led me back in and I headed back to Mary's and my seats. There was no trace of her, but I guessed that she was still busy with Roger and I didn't really worry anyway, if somebody could look after herself than it was Mary. Even if something did happen, there were more than enough people around to help. She surely wouldn't need me as her babysitter and in all honesty I didn't really want to be the third wheel again. With George had been more than enough...

The second part started and she still wasn't here, I started to wonder where she was, but more because I was annoyed that I was on my own than I was actually worried. During a small break, I went to the back to look for her, but I didn't see her nor Roger. The only one I saw from The Who was Keith Moon with whom I really didn't want to talk to. He was perhaps entertaining, but his touching policy was the furthest away from mine than it was possible. I decided to look around a bit more, worst case I could still ask him, but only if I really had no other choice. I nearly was about to give up and ask him, when I spotted Pete. I would have preferred John or well Roger, but he was at least better than Keith. I felt a bit uneasy talking to him, I didn't really know him and he was talking to some other people. I took a deep breath and just went over.

"Eh... Pete? Excuse me, but do you perhaps know where my friend is? The last time I saw her, she was with Roger and well I can't find her anymore."

He sighed. "Didn't she tell you? They kind of left I guess, even though he was supposed to stay here... If it's a comfort, he didn't inform me either, he just told John, because he wouldn't say anything..."

"Oh eh... thanks." I mumbled.

He shrugged. "Sure you're welcome."

I nodded and went back through the people towards my seat. Sighing I sat down and somehow it felt off being on my own. Usually I had no problem with being alone, but now I nearly wished someone would be here and keep me company and distract me from my thoughts. At least with the show I could concentrate on that, but during a break... There was nothing for me to do than wonder about Brian, Keith and more Brian. Mary was probably right that I spend a lot of time contemplating about him, but that was hardly a surprise with how complicated he was or this whole situation was... Every time I thought we had gotten a tad closer, he did something that threw me off and made me question our whole relationship again like with the kiss. Why had he done it? He had been acting strange the whole evening and I still had no idea why... At least not when we arrived, later on well he had been high, was that maybe why he kissed me? I nearly slapped myself, did I seriously question the acting of somebody who thought he could see death walking around? In my defence I saw it too without being high... I shook my head to get these thoughts finally out of my head. It won't make a difference anyway, this again was just driving me mad... I really wished for a drink in that moment.

To avoid thinking again, I observed the other people around until the rest of the show started. The final part were the Rolling Stones. They were alright and I was a tad surprised that Mary had really left to miss them perform. They were her favourite band, not mine, but I guess from her point of view she still had more chances to see them than she did at having a night with Roger. I really felt stupid sitting on my own, but the show had been alright, so I didn't mind her ditching me all that much. In addition it was getting really late and me too, probably wouldn't have minded leaving two hours earlier... But I wasn't the only one, everyone in the public seemed tired, but I had to admit that Mick had put on a great show and despite the late hour he had kept the crowd entertained. Still I felt like falling asleep somewhere in the middle and was more than happy when they announced there was only on song left to record.