Haikyuu!! x Reader

Nishinoya Yuu || Feelings

Is this how you write sad? idk, but I tried. Warning: Asanoya ahead. I love Asanoya.

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 There was nothing in the world (f/n) hated more than feelings; yes, loving somebody and giving your all to them was so amazing, the absolute best, but loving someone you could never have was absolute shit. That's the boat (f/n) was in, so she hated feelings.

It was easy at first, knowing she couldn't be with Nishinoya Yuu. He'd rejected her, explaining that he wasn't interested in woman, and even apologized many more times than needed. (f/n) told him it was okay - they'd been friends for a long time, and she wasn't going to let this ruin their friendship. They were just feelings and she'd get over them. She'd even started to get over them. That was, until Yuu started to develop feelings for Asahi.

It wasn't a big deal in the beginning - Nishinoya would nonchalantly bring Asahi up in conversation, complimenting the ace in subtle ways. But when Nishinoya found out that Asahi was also gay and returned his feelings, everything went down hill for (f/n).

It was Asahi-San this and Asahi-San that and Asahi-San is so tall, I never knew I would love being this much shorter than somebody, and it broke (f/n)'s heart. It was stupid of her, really, to be so effected by Nishinoya and his love for Asahi, but Nishinoya had been the only boy she'd ever really been interested in, and now she was thinking about how wrong everything about her was.

'I'm too short, of course Yuu wouldn't like me,' she had thought to herself, watching Asahi give Nishinoya stand on his tip toes to seem intimidating to Asahi. She doubted everything about herself because of her best friend's relationship, and it only got worse when Yuu started opting out of hanging out with her on the weekends so he could hang out with Asahi-San the Greatest Boyfriend ever.

And gods know that (f/n) couldn't hate Asahi because who the hell could hate somebody so fucking kind and fragile? So, she had to hate the feelings.

Nobody was to blame for this horrible, shitty situation. She blamed her feelings when she saw them together and wanted to cry, blamed her feelings when she would be studying with Yuu and wanted nothing more than to hold his hand, blamed her feelings when she started making up excuses to not hang out so she didn't have to face him calling her to apologize because Asahi-San got them tickets to see a movie and he couldn't study with her tonight.

She blamed it all on her feelings, and she kept them to herself because if she told Yuu, he'd feel bad and if she told Asahi, he'd feel bad, and if she told anyone else they'd tell her she wasn't thinking right.

"Nishinoya is gay -" they'd probably tell her "- that isn't your fault, it's just who he is."

So, she kept the pathetic feelings to herself, bottling them up and slapping a smile on her face. It was only one day that anyone found out, and (f/n) cursed herself that it was Tanaka.

She'd gone to pick up Yuu from practice - something she had only started doing again because she was feeling better, less pathetic with her feelings. She'd checked with him before, they were gonna go get ice cream with the other second years and tell jokes and walk home, and it was going to be normal. 

But (f/n) walked into the gym and found Yuu being tickled by Asahi, laughing so hard that tears were forming in his eyes. The smile on Asahi's face was the one she figured she had when she used to make him laugh - a smile of love and adoration.

(f/n) didn't want to intrude (or cry in front of them) and left the gym quickly, tears already starting to form.

"(f/n)!" She turned away from the boy calling her name, not wanting Tanaka to see her crying. "Noya isn't gonna be able to walk home with us, something about eating dinner with Asahi-San's family tonight, but Ennoshita said he was going to buy the ice cream tonight, so-"

Tanaka stopped once he made it in front of the girl, his smile immediately falling. "(f/n)," he stated, reaching his hand out to her. "Are you okay?"

(f/n) shook her head no, not wanting to lie. She was a mess, she was sad, and damn it was a little nice to let somebody know that.

Tanaka's frown grew. "Is this because of Yuu? I know, I'm a little frustrated with him too because we were supposed to play games at my house tonight, but he's happy with Asahi-San, so I can't be too mad at him."

(f/n) wasn't proud to admit that at the mention of Yuu being happy with Asahi-San she started crying more. Tanaka didn't ask why she was crying so hard, just opened his arms and let her bury her face in his chest and cry. He seemed to realize what this about when (f/n) started talking about how much she hates feelings and Yuu and everything in the world, and he only held her closer then.

"I'm sorry," he said to her, his voice the most serious she'd ever heard. "I'm so, so sorry, (f/n)." 

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I love Asanoya so much like pls don't love me Yuu, your man is right there

anyways idek if this is good, I've never written something sad before?

like I have, but it always ends up happy-ish? 

anyways, I hope you all are having good days! ^.^