Haikyuu!! x Reader

Terushima Yuuji || Be Happy

 I wrote this when Terushima first appeared in the manga forever ago and why did I want to make him sad lol? Song is You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol

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you could be happy and I won't know but you weren't happy the day I watched you go. and all the things that I wish I had not said are played in loops till it's madness in my head.

The day Terushima watched (f/n) leave was tragic - a lot of screaming, a lot of crying, a lot of terrible, untrue words said that Terushima would do anything in the world to take back because they weren't true. He knew he was in the wrong - home late, always drinking after work, becoming distant - but when (f/n) blamed him for her sadness, for the state of the mess they called their relationship, he had to yell, had to protect his stupid, stupid pride.

The next morning, when he'd sobered up, he woke to (f/n) packing her things and telling Terushima that she was done, that she was going to stay with her best friend until she could figure things out, could figure them out. No matter how many times Terushima begged for her to stay, no matter how many times he pleaded for her to not leave him alone she walked out without saying goodbye.

is it too late to remind you how we were? but not our last days of silence, screaming blur. most of what I remember makes me sure I should have stopped you from walking out the door.

When they'd moved in together things were good - Terushima was good at coming home, (f/n) was good at asking questions before jumping to conclusions - they worked. They worked because they both were a little out there, they both were far too infatuated with each other - it was good. Nice, even. They were content and together and it worked so damn well.

But then the stress took over, and they both stopped talking and started drinking, and they both knew they shouldn't have moved in together so soon, but their pride wouldn't let them admit it until it was too late to salvage the pieces of their broken relationship.

Terushima looks back on it now and hates himself for not making her stay, for not trying harder because he thought she'd be back, she always came back before. But he waited, and waited, and waited, and she never came.

you could be happy, I hope you are. you made me happier then I'd been by far. and somehow everything I own smells of you and for the tiniest moment it's all not true.

When Terushima finally agreed to face the facts that (f/n) wasn't coming back he was a wreck - more alcohol when he wasn't at work, less time in the apartment he couldn't will himself to move out of. He didn't like being in it much these days - it still smelt like her, everything Terushima ever seemed to touch smelt like her, and he hadn't messed with any of the decorations (f/n) had put up, even if they were too homey for a place he was living in alone. He didn't like to be in it alone, but he couldn't leave.

It looked the same and smelt the same, but it felt emptier, sounded emptier. No humming from the kitchen because (f/n) wasn't their to be in it, no songs from the bathroom because (f/n) showered somewhere different now, no (f/n) by his side at night because she slept somewhere else now, and that somehow wasn't even the worst of it.

His friends had told him it would be the worst - sleeping alone after growing so used to someone else being there, but it wasn't. He missed (f/n) the most during the day when he saw something he knew she would love or when he was laughing at some stupid joke he thought up that he knew (f/n) would laugh it, even if it wasn't funny. He missed (f/n) when he was with his friends and the table they were at felt empty because she wasn't beside him holding his hand. He missed her, god did he miss her, and he never thought it would be this hard.

do the things that you always wanted to without me there to hold you back don't think just do more than anything I want to see you girl take a glorious bite out of the whole world.

He saw her for the first time three months after she left. She looked good - happy. She was with a friend Terushima couldn't think of the name of, and she was drinking tea in a cafe because she's always hated coffee, and she was laughing in a way that crinkled her eyes and lights up her face. He wanted to talk to her - wanted to rant to her and apologize for being an ass or even just wave a hello at her because that's what friends do, and they could be friends, right?

But, he doesn't. He looks at her a while longer - takes in the happiness, the light of her face -, digs some change out of his pocket as a tip for his coffee, and then leaves the shop without looking back.

He wants her to be happy. She hadn't contacted him, hadn't walked over and said hi to him when she'd seen him in the cafe - she didn't want to see Terushima, and if that's what would make her happy, than he'd be okay with it.

They weren't meant to be if she was happier without him - he didn't want to be the reason that somebody was miserable. (f/n) was doing fantastic without him, and it was about damn time he did fantastic without her too. 

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I love Terushima so much sorry bb Yuuji you're my second favorite blonde trash can right behind Tsukki of course.

IF ANYONE HAS REQUESTS PLS GIVE ME THEM. I have one right now that I'm working on, but my mind has been super barren lately and I need help with creativenesss.