Haikyuu!! x Reader

Oikawa Tooru || Fine

Oikawa was requested by UdunKnowMe -- I hope you enjoy it ^.^

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 Oikawa was fine.

Yeah, he couldn't play volleyball for two months (or ever again) and he had to spend all that time not at practice and instead at physical therapy, and his parents were treating him like a child even though he was an adult now, and (f/n) was being too sweet to him because she knew he wasn't fine, but he swore he was just fine.

Every time (f/n) asked how he was doing, every time the therapist asked how the recovery from surgery was going, every time he met up with Iwa-Chan for lunch - he was fine.

But he wasn't, he really, really wasn't fine.

He couldn't play volleyball, he had to go to physical therapy, and he was bad enough at hiding his emotions that (f/n) saw through him - he wasn't fine. He was a mess, an absolute mess of anxiety and sadness - his middle school years of inferiority and depression couldn't even compare to the sadness he was feeling now, and he didn't know how to handle it.

He couldn't talk to Iwa-Chan, because he'd be concerned enough to yell at Oikawa for not telling him sooner and then get (f/n) to help make Oikawa better, which was the last thing he needed - (f/n) didn't need to worry. She hadn't done anything wrong - this was all Oikawa's fault for being reckless during his high school years, and he would deal with the pain of the consequences alone.

(f/n) hadn't known him then, she didn't need to deal with this because it was absolutely, in no way her fault. So, Oikawa suffered in silence as long as he could.

*****

He broke only three weeks into his new, volleyball free routine.

He was in his room, the dorm he had to himself, and he broke down completely, not able to stop his tears even though he knew (f/n) was coming over soon. He tried - tried to take calming breaths and wiped furiously at his cheeks until they were hurting - but it didn't work. He cried and cried and cried, even when he heard (f/n) coming into the room, even when he knew he needed to stop so he could come across as okay.

"Hey, Tooru what's wrong?" (f/n) asked once she'd noticed he was curled up in a ball on his bed. She didn't notice the tears until she was beside the bed, and that's when she started to panic. "Hey baby, look at me, are you hurting? Do I need to take you to the ER?"

"I'm fine," Oikawa said, even with the tears streaming down his face and the sobs shaking his body. "I'm fine, just give me a minute alone, please."

(f/n) shook her head. "You've been working on this alone for three weeks - let me help you."

Oikawa stood up, a little wobbly from how fast he'd moved. "I'm fine, I don't need anyone's help," he said firmly, trying to focus on his girlfriend through the tears in his eyes. (f/n) didn't get defensive - she couldn't in this situation, it'd just make things worse.

"Tooru, help isn't bad."

"For the last time, I'm fine and I don't need help." Oikawa's voice was rather stern, but (f/n) wasn't backing down.

"Tooru, you haven't been fine since the surgery, and I can understand why, but you need to talk about it if you hope to get better."

"Fine," Oikawa said, throwing his hands out on either side of him. "I'm not fine do you want to hear why? I can't do the one thing in this world that I'm good at - I may never be able to play volleyball again, (f/n), and volleyball is the only thing in this world that I am overwhelming good at. What am I going to do if I don't heal right? I'm smart, but I don't want to do anything if I can't play volleyball - Kageyama and Ushiwaka will win if I can't play volleyball, and I'm not ready to loose, (f/n). I'm not ready to be done."