Haikyuu!! x Reader

Azumane Asahi || Anxiety

Asahi was learning how to handle his anxiety - it was a tough job, like most improvements were, but he was working on it, and he was proud to say that he was actually getting somewhere.

His first year of college was spent working himself out of his comfort zone; sticking up for himself more, telling people what he wanted, going out and finding things that interested him, not giving up when he felt too anxious to go on. It was progress, even on days when he could barely ask the cute girl sitting next to him for help on his notes, and he was allowed to be proud of himself for how little he stuttered.

He was even more proud when he started talking to that girl regularly, and he almost allowed Sugawara to throw him a party when the girl asked him on a date. 

After that, everything was kind of easy for Asahi. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling - it all felt second nature to him when he was doing it with (f/n) - she made him calm, helped him to not sweat the small stuff, to enjoy things that he hadn't known to enjoy before.

Before he knew it they were starting their second year of college together, and Asahi was more confident and happy than he'd ever been - he was better on the court, hitting toss after toss with the confidence and skill it took to be a wing spiker on a college volleyball team. He was better off the court, laughing with strangers and not stuttering when he ordered things in restaurants, initiating hugs and kisses with (f/n) because he could, and it made him so happy.

But the days would come where he couldn't ask (f/n) out on dates without the fear of rejection clawing at him and he couldn't order breakfast from the cafe next to his dorm. There were days where he would stumble when asking for help from his teacher and he wouldn't want to go to volleyball practice because he was going to get blocked, and the libero wasn't Nishinoya so he couldn't fix Asahi's mistakes.

When those days came around (f/n), Suga, Daichi, and Asahi's volleyball coach knew to be patient; they knew to be calm with him, knew they might have to coerce him back into the person that Asahi wanted to be, that he was fighting to be. (f/n) would always be sure to tell him she was proud of him, made sure to take it easy and not pressure him into kisses or dates because she didn't want to trigger an anxiety attack.

Those days were hard for everyone, especially when Asahi would stress about being a burden because he couldn't even fucking order a muffin without stuttering, without pinching the inside of his hand to keep himself aware.

Sadly, the day of Asahi and (f/n)'s eight month anniversary was one of those days.

They'd planned a date, not too fancy because they were poor as hell, and Asahi was going to shower (f/n) in affection because he could finally compliment her without becoming overwhelmed, but he couldn't will himself to leave his dorm after classes ended.

"Suga, what if she decides she doesn't like me and breaks up with me and leaves me alone in the restaurant? What if I accidentally spill her water on her? I know, I know, I've done that before, but what if she decides that this time it's not okay? And what if a really hot guy walks into the restaurant and she wants to go out with him instead of me? Suga, what if-"

"Asahi, breathe," Suga said, sitting the boy down on the bed he'd been pacing in front of. "I know it's hard Asahi, but (f/n) really likes you. She wouldn't have stayed with you for so long if she didn't."

Suga's small hand was rubbing Asahi's back slowly, fingernails scratching it occasionally. Asahi was slowing his breathing, evening out the breaths because if he didn't he would fall into an attack, and he didn't need that because he had to get ready for his date.

"I've gotta go now, I cannot miss this lecture, but you call Daichi or (f/n) if you don't think you can keep the attack off on your own, okay? They'll be here fast enough to help you."

Asahi nodded and beckoned Suga out of their room, promising that he'd be okay and that he'd call if he needed any help. He then picked up a book and started reading, knowing it would help to keep his mind off of the date until it was time to get ready for it.

*****

When he regained focus outside of the book it was because of a knock on his door, and he started to panic immediately - he hadn't gotten ready yet and (f/n) was there. He dropped the book and ran for the door, spouting out apologies immediately. He stopped when (f/n) set her hand on his chest, right over his heart.

"Hey, it's okay Asahi, breathe for me," she said, hand gripping his shirt lightly. It was then he noticed what she was wearing.

"(f-f/n)," he stuttered, "why are you in your pajamas, we're supposed to be going out."

(f/n) just smiled and gave him a small shove back into the room. "I wanna stay in tonight, watch a few of these," (f/n) flashed the Pokemon movie case at Asahi, smiling wide. "This is one disk with four Pokemon movies on it, Asahi, it's my saving grace. I'm tired from classes, just wanna cuddle and watch movies if that's alright with you?"

Asahi let out a breath of relief - he really wouldn't know what to do if (f/n) left him for a hot guy in the middle of a restaurant. "That sounds good for me. I'll make some popcorn an-"

"No, you should make a perfect little nest on the bed for us and I'll make the popcorn. Take these too," she said, holding a plastic bag out to her boyfriend. "I stopped by a shop, got some sweets and chips - we're gonna need more than popcorn if we're gonna make it through all four movies."

Asahi took the plastic bag and the movie case and walked over to his bed while (f/n) went to microwave popcorn. After popping in the movie Asahi gather his pillows against the wall and prepared the blankets to wrap around he and (f/n)'s bodies.

It was only a few minutes before they were cuddled on the bed, bags of chips and candy around them, a bowl of popcorn in (f/n)'s lap. They started on the first movie, Pokemon Heroes, and (f/n) felt Asahi relax against her as the movie went on and they warmed up together.

It was weird to Asahi that (f/n) was so good at calming him, knowing what he needed when he didn't even know himself. He'd never been interested in Pokemon, not since he was a child, but with (f/n) next to him, explaining the plot and reminding him of the names of Pokemon between mouthfuls of popcorn, he found himself more interested than ever.

They made it through all four movies - it wasn't that impressive, they weren't that long - before they were just sitting on the bed, blankets over their heads and hands clasped together. (f/n) was lightly kissing Asahi's neck, the boy calming even more with her there.

"Suga texted you, didn't he?" he asked after a while.

"Yeah," (f/n) admitted, pulling away to look into Asahi's eyes. "He told me that you weren't feeling well, so I told him that I'd bring over some really old Pokemon movies and distract you. He promised to stay with Daichi tonight so that I could stay here tonight with you and cuddle you, if you want."

Asahi couldn't think of any bad situation involving the proposition. "Please."

"Okay," (f/n) said quietly, moving in to kiss Asahi's cheek. "Let's watch your favorite movie and try to sleep now, okay?"

Asahi hummed and (f/n) kissed his cheek again lightly before getting up to change the disk in the player.

When she got back Asahi didn't hesitate in pulling her into him, something that had (f/n) smiling wide.

"Thank you," Asahi said, feeling more relaxed then than he did all day.

(f/n) new it wouldn't pay off to say there was no reason for thanks, so she cuddle up with Asahi and mumbled a quiet 'you're welcome' before turning to watch the movie.

Asahi tightened his arms around her and allowed himself to breathe out - to be relaxed, allowed himself to be comfy. 

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Asahi slays me I love this giant child so much that it hurts me.

Thank you all for wishing me good luck on my interview btw, I got the new job and I start next monday and I'm soooo excited ^.^

Any requests at all?? I'm open for any character except Kuroo or Oikawa, because I write a lot for them lol.