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(A/N: Hey guys! Do any of you know the piano? I've been teaching myself some stuff and it's really fun! Anyways, make sure you eat something, drink some water and take you meds. Love you!)
Oneshot: Your parents want you to make friends but you have social anxiety with Peter (A/N: by Panic! At The Disco.)
Your POV
Another event. Great.
As I got ready for the evening party my dad's work was holding, I could feel the panic settling in. My dad is extremely prideful and likes to show Mum and me off like trophies that he has won. They both, however, are the culprits of trying to get me to make friends with random people. Every time we go somewhere it's, "Hey, she looks like a girl your age. Why don't you go say hi?", even if I can tell that we aren't going to get along. People are always either pushy, rude, overwhelming, too nice or just don't like me. Then we end up awkwardly standing together because I can't just leave the conversation smoothly while I'm trying to control my breathing.
I've never been very good at making friends. It got really bad in middle school, which is when Peter became my only friend. Though, essentially I'm his only friend as well.
Both Peter and I are different from everyone in our grade. We get along so well because we both skipped a year, making us a year younger than everyone else. Plus, even in grade school, the other kids never really understood us. It was like we were the really, really smart aliens in the class that everyone didn't understand, so they made fun of us.
Anywho, this event was no different.
When we got home, I immediately ran up to my room before I could start crying in front of my parents. They know that I have social anxiety but, obviously, strive to put me in these situations.
I quickly texted Peter. He's the only person who's ever seen me have a breakdown, and I could tell I was on the verge of one. Once I texted him to come over quickly and knew he had seen it, I set my phone down and sat on my bed, silently, as the tears began to fall.
It's such a horrible feeling. Being scared to talk to people, literally feeling your airways close up when in a crowded area. Being terrified that you'll offend someone, or that they will get mad at you. Knowing that you have done nothing wrong, but the dread still creeping into your thoughts.
Fortunately, a knock on my door pulled me out of my doomed train of thought.
"Come in," I said, slightly louder than a speaking voice but not a full yell. Before I could even comprehend the door opening, Peter had engulfed me in a hug, tackling me onto the bed. Just that, the feeling that someone cared that much, was enough to make me start full on sobbing.
"Hey," Peter's voice was calming."It's alright. It's alright, I'm here."
I hugged him back, just as fiercely."Why can't they just accept that it's hard to make friends? Why do they keep pushing me to having attacks in the middle of a party, or of an event?" I cried. Peter sat up, pulling me with him. As I continued to rant, he listened, not once interrupting me. I was thankful for that. People had a particularly annoying habit of cutting me off more often than not.
"How did you get in?" I asked him, just now asking myself the question.
"You're parents aren't exactly thorough."
"Tell me about it," I mused."I bet I could tell them that I wanted to run away and they wouldn't blink an eye. No one would."
Peter gaped."Y/N, even though your parents don't care as much as they should, there are people around you that would be devastated if you were gone."
"Like who?" I scoffed.
"Well, Lucy would be in tears. Susan probably wouldn't be much better. I know Edmund would be sad if his favorite chess playing buddy wasn't around," He teased a bit at the end.
"But I always lose."
"And that's you're his favorite!" Peter laughed. I poked him in the ribs, making him fall back on the bed, laughing even harder.
"Oh, and my mum would be devastated," Peter reminded me."She absolutely adores you!"
"Your mum is so sweet."
"Yeah. You're the only one who enjoys her cooking."
"Hey, a home cooked meal is a home cooked meal." I said, instantly turning the moment bitter."I'm sorry." A tear ran down my face.
"Hey," Peter said. He sat up, grabbing my hands in one hand and wiping away the tear with the other."It's alright. You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart."
Though his words were kind, for once it wasn't me making a situation awkward. I decided to test the waters.
"Would you be sad if I wasn't here?" I whispered. Peter's hand was still cupping my face.
"Yeah," He admitted."Of course I would."
"Why?" That made Peter tense up.
"You're my best friend," He excused."Why would I want to lose my best friend?"
"Why would you want to lie to them either?" I snapped. He seemed to understand, getting frustrated with me.
"Who says I'm lying?" He took his hands away from my face and hands, running one of them through his hair, something he does when he's nervous.
I gave him a glare, and he knew he wasn't fooling me. He stood up and started to pace around my room. I watched him silently, knowing that he was going to break soon.
"Yeah, okay, I'm not telling the whole truth, but I'm not lying." He emphasised the 'not'."Yes, I would be sad if you weren't here. Because you're my best friend. And because I don't know where I'd be without you. And because, sometimes, you are the only thing that keeps me going. And because the thought of ever losing you is horrible to me. And because nothing would be the same without you. And because I..." He stopped himself rambling.
"Because you what?" My voice seemed hollow, but that was the most weighted question I had ever asked.
Peter didn't say anything. Instead, he slowly walked over to me, holding my gaze. He stood in front of me and brought his hands up to cup my face. He sighed.
"Because I love you." He leaned forward slowly, gently stroking my cheekbones, and put his lips to mine.
(A/N: I think I'm going to leave it there. Alright.)
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Narnia Preferences and Oneshots
Fanfiction"No you don't have to wear your best fake smile" Narnia preferences and oneshots containing Peter, Edmund and Caspian.