Narnia Preferences and Oneshots

Edmund Mini

blub

(A/N: Hey guys! How are you? I'm doing okay. Also, only four days in and I'm having trouble keeping this up. NO. MUST. PUSH. THROUGH. THE SLEEPINESS. By the way, this is a modern story. Remember to eat something, drink some water and take your meds! Love you!)

Prompt: 'Will you just accept that I am hopelessly in love with you, and there's nothing you can do that will change that?'

"You can talk to me, you know," Edmund told you.

You simply shook your head. No. You could not talk to him about this. You could not even articulate a proper sentence with all of the things going through your brain. You could not talk to him about this. You could not talk to him about how you had just lost his child.

You didn't think it would ever happen. Edmund had agreed to your decision on waiting until after marriage before trying to have children. He assumed that it was because of your fear of a negative reputation, but honestly you just wanted to be able to drink on your wedding day.

So, you waited. After the wedding, it was full steam ahead, but a few months passed and you began to wonder why what you wanted to happen wasn't happening. When you finally caved and booked an appointment at the doctor's office, worry started set in, and you officially began to entertain the fact that you might not be able to have children.

You went to the doctor's without Edmund, not wanting to see the look on his face if you found out that children delivered by you were not in your future. The doctor explained that it wasn't that you couldn't have children, only that something or other with your liver would make it extremely difficult.

When you got home, Edmund was waiting for the news. As you explained what the doctor had told you, his face fell and rose multiple times throughout your retelling of the diagnosis. After you finished, he embraced you, joking that you both would just have to try a bit harder.

Now knowing that it would just be a bit more difficult for you to conceive, the both of you were patient, trying diligently but knowing not to get your hopes up each month. It was quite a depressing circle; you tried for nearly two years, and still, no baby.

Finally, coming to the realization that you wouldn't become pregnant without a little bit of help, you let the doctors work their magic, and the next month, when you took yet another pregnancy test, the two lines appeared and your life officially took a turn for the better. Or, so yourself and everyone had hoped.

It was a rocky pregnancy; you knew it would be. With all of the complications you had faced while trying to get pregnant, it wasn't much of a surprise when you were put on permanent bed rest not three months into your pregnancy.

When you went into labor, you were terrified. You had heard horror stories of deliveries and spent far too much time on the internet reading about women on forums. You had all of the reasonable fears as a soon-to-be first time mother.

But, the cherry on top of all of the physical and emotional pain everyone would endure in the next ten hours was how happy Edmund was. He was ready to be a father, to have someone to guide and lead and teach. He was ready for all of the things that most men his age couldn't dream of being prepared for.

All of this amounted to why it was so heartbreaking to hear that, after years of trying and nine months of waiting and already loving this unborn child, fate had cruelly ripped them from your grasps.

"I feel numb," you finally said. "If that makes any sense at all."

"I understand," Edmund said. He was sitting at the foot of your bed. "It feels as though if someone stabbed me through the stomach, it couldn't hurt any worse than what we're already feeling."

"I'm sorry." Edmund looked up at you.

"Don't apologize, Y/N."

You looked at him with teary eyes. "What else am I supposed to do?" you choked out. "I couldn't do something as simple and as natural as carry a child! I-I failed at one of the only things that females are inherently made for! How else am I supposed to respond than to apologize for not working properly?"

Edmund gaped. "Y/N, the fact that one thing, one thing that isn't even your real purpose on this earth, didn't go to plan, does not make you broken."

"Because of me, Edmund, our child is dead!" you nearly screamed. Edmund flinched away.

"She," he said calmly.

"What?"

"Before I came in here, one of the nurses informed me that our child was a girl." Edmund got up and laid down next to you, letting you lay your head on his chest. "Will you just accept that I am hopelessly in love with you, and there's nothing you can do that will change that? Nothing. Down the road, once we've recovered from this, we can decide what we want to do about having children, but for now, I need you to be confident in the fact that I'm not going anywhere, that you are not broken, and that I love you with all of my heart."