blind. | styles (hariana)

XXIV. The Good and The Bad

~ Marcel ~

From what I can tell, a lot of things can change in just two months time. It's getting colder, and students are twice the more stressed as finals were approaching. Despite my surroundings changing, I felt as if I myself did not change at all.

I was still known as "The nerd" or "The freak" and whatnot, but I've gained the respect of some individuals however not to the point they'd actually consider me as one of their own. Cara and I have somewhat gotten closer, and I've learned to succumb to her controlling yet oddly caring personality.

I did not know where we stood; our relationship I guess you could say wasn't exactly a relationship. She was a flirt and I was the one to just play along. But we had the stability any relationship would have.

In the time I'd known her I always thought she was a bit of a bitch, but I guess I had to look past that and see that she was just protecting herself. My brother really fucked things up with her, as so she tells me.

She described him as a ticking bomb; that one day he's going to explode and destroy everything in his wake, something he did exactly three years ago to her.

Cara was much more than a pretty face. She had an attitude, and with her attitude she was able to stay strong and stay resistant to any of Harry or the pack's sexual approaches. She was a nice girl to be frank, but she was very fragile and I could tell she felt uncomfortable being with me at times.

She explains it as seeing Harry in front of her but one with a soul.

I thought about her a lot, wondering what Harry could have done to completely change Cara from someone who was so sweet to someone who'd find it most pleasurable to hurt you.

She wasn't the only person on my mind either. Ariana made a few guest appearances in my thoughts, usually out of guilt or my unmistakably annoying feelings of missing her.

I knew from the moment she spoke to me on the first day of classes that she was different and could very well be the person who would save me. I felt terrible using her to get back at Harry. I actually liked her, well not in that way and I knew she did not deserve what I did to her.

But amongst our short time together, I came to realize that I wasn't the one who needed saving anymore. She did. But then I noticed how Harry would stare at her, sometimes without even noticing it and along came the surprise trips to her dorm room, wanting to work on their project; he wanted her.

And it wasn't just to win that stupid bet of his; he genuinely wanted to be with her, around her. He wanted her by his side, he wanted her caring personality to care about him.

Which is what she did. She showed him the affection Harry craved, and she became the rock that had left him when we were seniors in high school. More than anything, I wanted that Harry to be the Harry I saw every day in class. Ariana was the ticket to getting him.

It'd been a while since he cared about someone like he cared about Ariana.

By then I knew that it wasn't supposed to be "Marcel and Ariana", but "Harry and Ariana" because Harry needed her more than I ever would.

I see her every morning, and I always try to speak to her to which she only ignores me. But then again I don't know what else to tell her, besides that I was sorry. The only positive thing to come out of this was that she had grown closer to Harry who shared her hatred towards me.

They talked a lot more, and soon began to forget I was even there. I watched almost enviously at how happy they were. I know I sort of helped them get closer, but Harry was still happier than I was and I didn't find it fair at all.