Shawn Mendes Imagines

i do love you

Third part to "the way she loves him."

shawn is right. i only love the things he does for me, i  never really loved him. tonight i broke up with my boyfriend because i was in love with Shawn, but maybe shawn is right. i looked at my tear stained cheeks in the mirror while i debated on wether or not i was about to do this. the handful of white pills i had in my hands made their way to my mouth. the cold water hit my throat as i took the pills. i sat down on the cold tile waiting for it to be over.

•Shawn's pov
the sound of my phone ringing woke me up from my deep sleep.

"hello?" i said with my eyes still closed.

"Shawn," i immediately recognized the voice. it was y/n's mom, her voice was filled with sadness. "y/n is in the hospital, we found her last night lying on the bathroom floor. the doctors think she took Tylenol and tried to overdose." it was all my fault, i should of stayed with her, i shouldn't of said that.

•
the smell of cleaning products lingered throughout the gloomy hospital. i walked up to the front desk, "y/n y/l/n." i said in a panic.

"i'm sorry sir, its family only." the lady said looking at me with sad eyes.

"it's okay," i looked up to see her mom, "he's her brother." she opened her arms up for me to give her a hug. that's when i completely lost it. she rubbed circles on my back and cried silently, loud sobs passed my lips as she tried to calm me down.

"we are still waiting for any news at all, you can go in and see her shawn." her mom said pulling away from the hug. i nodded my head and wiped away my tears. i pushed the wooden door open. her fragile body laid there on the small hospital bed hooked up to machines. i could feel tears forming in my eyes again. a plastic chair was beside her bed, i sat down and grabbed her hand.

"i don't know if you can hear me," i said while i looked down at her hand i was holding, "but i hope you can because what i'm about to say is something you should know." a soft laugh managed to pass my lips, "i love you, not just as a friend. i want to be the one that can hold you in my arms and kiss your lips, i want to be the one that you really love, but i know i'm not, and that's okay. as long as i have you in my life i am okay, but y/n," i leaned forward and looked up at her beauty face, "i can't lose you, i can't live with the thought of knowing that i'm the reason you're gone." there was no point in wiping away my tears, they would just keep falling. i felt her small hand move in mine.

"shawn?" her beautiful eyes landed on me.

i pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled, "its me." her hand squeezed mine as tears fell down her cheeks.

"i do love you, more than a friend." her voice was soft as she spoke, "last night i broke up with him because i couldn't be with someone when i loved somebody else, and that somebody else is you shawn." her glossy eyes looked at me.

"i'm so sorry for what i said." i apologized.

"its okay shawn," she assured as she placed her hand on my cheek. she leaned in closing the small space that was between us. i finally felt her lips on mine, after 5 years of waiting she was finally mine.