Mello's First Love

Real Life

Y/N pov

It had been a great year, I'd moved to LA and fallen in love. But real life always catches up with you eventually.

So to update: Kira was killing again, Light was back in L's life and being a dickhead, L was heartbroken over Light again, Near was ahead in the Kira case, Mello was a cranky little shit, even more than usual, Matt at least was his same cool self and still going good with Alizu.

And then there was me.

There were things about me that I'd never told Mello. I thought they were in the past so there was no need. And they were, at the time.

But there are some things you can never truly escape. I'd been good for over a year and I was grateful for that.

Mello being so stressed and angry all the time, didn't help either. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't his fault. It would have came back at some stage anyway, that's just how it works. But I couldn't talk to Mello about it now. I never really had, as I said, but there was no way I'd dare now. I didn't want to add any more stress to his life. And I was scared. I wasn't perfect anymore and he'd get mad at me, probably leave me. I was too used to feeling guilt for worrying people. It always felt like my own fault, even though the last thing I wanted was to feel this way. I was a burden and I was tired of it.

Our relationship had always been about making each other laugh, which had been great, but now it was all going to shit. We both took our problems out on each other. It was yelling, door slamming, insults, make up sex, apologies and then it just started over again.

Matt tried to keep the peace but I'd become so angry and hotheaded myself, it was disaster. But I still couldn't be without Mello. Now that I had him, I couldn't let go. God knows I tried.

I was still taking the medication, but nothing changes. Once it's back, it's back.

I was just waiting now, for it all to be over.

(A/N - I'm sorry to change the whole mood. I have to bring the Kira case back into the story and well, other thing is here for reasons. It's fine if anyone wants to stop reading, I'll understand. Perhaps it will get happier again, who knows)