Mello's First Love

Nothingness

Y/N pov

I'm now living in nothingness. Though it's not living. It's not anything. I'm here alone with the same thoughts and problems as before.

The only thing that's changed is that I'm so much more literally alone now. With nothing to distract me from my pain.

I can no longer read, write, enjoy music or tv, go to concerts etc. I'm just stuck here with nothing.

I'm gone from the world I knew, but I'm still forced to watch it. I see everything Mello does, and I can see how sad, alone and empty he is without me, but I can't do a thing to comfort him.

Sometimes I see Matt, Alizu and Near, when Mello does, and they're not the same either. They're all missing their usual spark. I thought they'd be better off without me, but they're not.

I can hear Mello's thoughts sometimes too, and it kills me (if I wasn't already dead) I changed his world for the better and then I left him forever, in the worst way possible.

I just wish I'd had that talk I'd planned with him, instead of acting on impulse. Now I can't ever talk to him again.

I miss him and he misses me, and it can't be fixed now. If only I could go back and change that one action.

I miss you Mello...