I Miss You

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Mello pov

After Matt left, I sat on the bed with my knees up and pulled into my chest, my arms wrapped around them and my head resting on them. I cried again, silently this time.

The truth was, I did understand why she did it. Well I understood in my own way. I could never know everything she went through or how it felt to be her, but I knew how it felt to want to die.

I had felt that way a lot in Wammy's House. I had been abandoned by my parents to live in an orphanage where everyone hated me, and was under pressure to be the best, which I never could be, no matter how hard I tried.

I wasn't good enough. That's all there was to it. And I never would be.

Y/N had made feel good enough, for the first time in my life. She never cared about any of that other stuff, she just loved me.

But I guess I wasn't good enough after all. Or she'd still be here, right? Why didn't I ever realise? I let her down and now she's gone forever.

I thought back to times I'd planned to end my life. It had been many times, yet I'd obviously never gone through with it.

I kept asking myself why I hadn't but she did. What was the difference that made her do it?

I guess I'd never know.  Perhaps she'd just done it on impulse in the end. Perhaps she was just tired of it all.

I wonder if she misses me somewhere...

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