I was a man who had a fúcking past. I totally hate responsibilities. I love being with the company of women but I loathed being in a relationship. I once tried to enter it but was immediately dumped and burned before I even fell so I despised it in...
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~❁✲❁**♥**❁✲❁~
Tinitigan ko yung hilera ng mga anak namin ni Zanny habang natutulog sila. Nandito kami ngayon sa family room namin kung saan may dalawang king sized floor bed kami na pinagdikit sa sahig. Dito kami natutulog nang magkakasama kapag trip namin mag-bonding bago matulog o kaya naman kapag gusto namin manood ng movies together during weekend nights tapos dito na rin kami matutulog nang magkakasama.
Pero ngayon hindi lang basta trip namin na matulog nang magkakatabi.
Tumingin ako kay Zanny habang bini-brēastfeed niya yung bunso naming anak.
"I never expected that is going to happen to our family, Daddy. Much more to our children," she said. Worry and distress were vividly written on her lovely face. "And you," a sob escaped her mouth as she leaned her head on my shoulder, "muntik ka nang mabaril sa harap namin ni Zean."
"Sssshhh..." I wiped the tears on her face. "Wag ka nang umiyak. What's important now is safe na tayong lahat. Dāmn! I cannot even say that we're going to be safe forever after what just happened to us. I'm very sorry, darling. I'm really very sorry. I'm putting our family in danger because of all the foolishness that I did in the past. Siguro nagsisisi ka na ngayon kung bakit ako pa yung pinakasalan mo."
She leaned her head away a bit from my shoulder to look at me. "Daddy, when I decided to marry you, I already accepted and embraced the whole you including all your shortcomings. All your positive side and negative side, I accepted all of them kasi mahal na mahal kita. Kaya hindi mo na kailangang humingi ng tawad sa akin at hindi mo kailangang sisihin yung sarili mo sa mga nangyari." She held my hand and gripped it tightly. "Kahit kailan hindi ko pinagsisihan na pinakasalan kita. Hindi ko pinagsisihan na minahal kita. Hindi ko pinagsisihan na ikaw yung naging ama ng mga anak ko. Masaya ako sa 'yo, Lance. Kuntento ako sa 'yo. Kahit noong nasa panganib kami ng mga bata, kumakapit pa rin ako sa 'yo dahil alam kong gagawin mo ang lahat para mailigtas kami ng mga anak natin."
I felt my eyes moistened with tears because of what she said. I squeezed her hand and kissed the side of her head. "Sa dami ng mga kagaguhan na ginawa ko noon, hindi ko alam kung bakit ibinigay sa akin yung isang tulad mo. You just don't know how thankful I am for having you in my life as a wife, as my best friend, and my best supporter."
Tipid siyang ngumiti sa akin. "Alam ko. You're showing it to me every moment of our lives. You're telling it to me everyday."
Inakbayan ko siya at hinalikan ulit yung gilid ng ulo niya. I stared at our youngest while she was still feeding on her mom's bosøm. Sobrang liit pa ng munting prinsesa ko para mapagdaanan yung bagay na yun. Pero ganun pa man, siya ang masasabi kong pinakainosente at walang kamalay-malay sa lahat ng mga nangyari sa amin.
Zeanelle Porsche was our only biological daughter who was giving us joy and laughter each day. Ang tagal namin siyang hinintay na dumating sa buhay namin pero muntik pa siyang mapahamak at mawala sa akin. Shīt! Not only her but my whole family. I almost lost all of them three nights ago.
