DRV3 headcanons, one-shots and other stuff [COMPLETED]

(O/S) Kokichi x Split Personality! Suicidal! Reader

Requested by @Lunakomaeda. Enjoy! Also, if your name is Gladys or Penny I am so sorry lol. Also Y/N is an alter of a host who gets into a killing game. I'm not trying to romanticise any of these things and I hope you get the help you need if you are dealing with these issues 🖤
Key words: H/N = Host's Name.
T/Ws: suicide, split personality, general angst, probably swearing.
Fic title: Split Feelings.

Host's POV

I really enjoyed shapes.
Seems like an odd thing to start off with, right? I mean, I am the SHSL Mathematician, so it makes sense, but why start with that of all things?
Well, I liked them for one specific reason - they had lots of sides, like me.
I saw most people as circles - one sided, not very sharp, and quite dull if you stare at them for too long. I saw myself as a cube, or maybe a hexagonal prism - a thing with multiple sides that are uncommon and can be quite entertaining for a while before they become duller over time.
When I first started going to school, one of my 'good' sides had taken over. I usually just referred to them as Gladys. Get it? Glad-ys? They come out during awkward social situations, but I'm not sure what they do. All I know is that people like them.
When I'm doing schoolwork and starting to freak out, Penny comes out. Because you write with a Pen? No? Okay. Again, all I know is that they get me the best exam results.
I could go on, but there is only one key side you have to know about - Y/N. No pun with their name, it's just Y/N.
Y/N was a side of me that I remember as the most dangerous. They come out sporadically, no apologies.
I don't know what they do to me, but I do know that I 'snap out of it' with scars on my body
So, when I got thrown headfirst into a killing game, I was very vulnerable.

Y/N's POV

I was awoken when I heard the word 'murder'. All that I knew was that there was a talking bear preaching about how death was mandatory.
I sighed for a ling time.
"H/N (host's name)?" A purple haired boy asked me. Did I know this person? Did the host know this person? I wasn't sure.
"It's fine." I said in my monotone voice. God, he was probably already hating H/N.
"Isn't this exciting?!" He exclaimed. I stood back, shocked.
"It's not very exciting, since I won't even be here to see the whole thing."i muttered under my breath.
"Huh? See the whole thing?" The boy picked up.
"What's your name?"
"I already told you."
"I'm Y/N."
"I thought you were—"
"Yeah, they have DID. Split personality? Ring a bell, dipshit?"
He stood stunned for a second. I didn't mean to sound so defensive. I just can't risk getting close to someone. If anything I should not get close to anyone so that I could die without anyone getting hurt, since the rules of the game stated that no-one would be punished for suicides. The bear had gone by now, the rules had been explained and panic spread like a virus through the room.
"You're awfully blunt." He chuckled, surprisingly calm about the revelation. "Does H/N have a murderous alter?"
"Dunno. All I know is that I'm the most dangerous alter, so you have nothing to be afraid of." He laughed, trying his best to play it off as a joke, but I didn't so much as chuckle.
"So, your name?" I asked again.
"Kokichi Oma, the SHSL Supreme Leader. And you're Y/N, the SHSL...?"
"H/N's Ultimate is the SHSL Mathematician."
"Yeah, but your Ultimate is...?"
"Don't have one."
"Oh, well, bye-bye Y/N! I've got some murders to plan!"
"Okay."
I didn't see him for the rest of the day.

Kokichi's POV

Our first free time came up. Of course I went to find H/N— Or rather I went to find Y/N.
H/N turned to see me, and seemed pretty chirpy. Needless to say they definitely weren't Y/N.
"Is Y/N in there?"
Their chirpiness seemed to evaporate into thin air. "Wh-What?"
I started to mentally ponder how to bring Y/N out. She seemed pretty... self-loathing.
"Jesus, I just want to talk to the better version of you. Oh well. Big deal. I'll come back when you have the guts to bring her out, you cowardly cow."
It didn't take long before Y/N's familiar voice took over. "What do you want?"
"Aren't you fazed by just randomly awaking in a different location?"
"Eh, I'm used to it, kind of. Usually I just wake myself up in bathrooms."
"Why bathrooms?"
"Nevermind. What do you want?"
"I want to get to know you!"
They stared at me like I had three heads. "You of all people want to get to know me? I'm not even a person, I'm just a part of a broken individual."
"Hey!" I snapped. "Don't—"
"I'll say what I want when I want, okay? Jesus, this is why I never talk to dipshits like you."
I couldn't help but feel offended, before I calmed myself down. "Look, can I buy you a Panta or something?"
"Fine." They snapped back as if I'd just challenged them.
Reluctantly, they followed me to the cafeteria where I bought them a f/f (favourite flavour) Panta along with a grape Panta for myself. We chatted for a bit, and I learned that they only came out in the darkest of times.
"So, you're depressed?" I questioned.
"No." They replied as blunt as ever. The put the cap on their beverage and swirled the liquid around in the bottle, watching the bubbles fizz up to the top. "Not at all. I'm not depressed, but I loathe my host."
"H/N? I mean they're a bit chirpy, but—"
"Oh, that wasn't H/N. That was Gladys, another alter. Trust me, H/N is much more boring. Much more selfish."
"Why do you hate her?"
"Because she causes me not to be my own person." She slammed her drink down on the table. "I'm just in her shadow and I want to get in the way to spite her. I don't give a damn if it's petty or childish. It's what must be done."
The silence in the room felt too hollow to be real. It was loud, somehow.
"But anyway. I've spilled enough." They sighed, drinking the last of their drink and flicking the empty plastic bottle, allowing the tiny amount of drops that remained to spill onto the table. They smiled slightly to themselves. "Bye."
It was almost nighttime when we got outsides. Stars were flickering in the sky and I could see the Big Dipper.
"Y/N, look—"
Y/N, H/N, and however many other alters they had were gone into the night.

Narrator's POV

Weeks later, even with everyone's deaths, during the evenings Kokichi couldn't sleep with the thought of Y/N playing on his mind. The Supreme Leader sighed and got out of bed one night, soon wandering the empty halls of Hope's Peak Academy for Gifted Juveniles. He felt hollow, lonely, and very tired, like he was a puppet with the strings snipped and his limbs were getting tangled up in the thread.
He found himself wandering to the school roof for a better view of some of the stars. He'd never admit it, since he wasn't one to steal Kaito's thunder, but he found the stars very inspiring, like one day he could just reach up and grab them in his hands, like one day he'd finally have some level of power over every living thing in the universe.
But when he stepped onto the roof, he only wished to control the student who was balancing precariously on the edge of the rooftop - Y/N. Not H/N, Y/N.
"Y/N." He called out.
"Oh, hi." Y/N replied, looking back at him with only a trace of guilt in there eyes.
"I'll scream if you jump. I'll frame myself for murder."
They chuckled. "And why would you do that?" They retorted, still maintaining eye-contact.
"So that you couldn't die thinking you were only a stepping stone for the rest of us. That's right, I'm guilting you into stepping away."
"Piss off." Was all Y/N replied with.

Kokichi's POV

"Wait wait wait!" I called, taking back my words as Y/N got scarily close to jumping. "I've really liked talking to you. Please don't do this. I don't care if you're not your own person, okay?"
I didn't want to cry but before I knew it I was tearing up.
"I'm sick of living in someone's shadow, Oma." Y/N mumbled quietly, "I'll just become a stepping stone for you guys. No-one else will have to die. If I'm being honest, it's my fault for getting so close to you. I would have gone a long time ago if it weren't for you. So, basically, thank you and I hope you go to hell for making me hate myself for trying to do this."
I was confused, but that didn't matter at that moment. All that mattered was that Y/N didn't jump.

Good Ending (Still Kokichi's POV)

Before they could jump I grabbed their arm and yanked them backwards. We stumbled back onto the safety of the roof and she gave me a look.
"Thanks." Was all Y/N said. She pecked me on the cheek before visibly cringing. "God, that was so awful, I should go, I should—"
"No no no." Kokichi tutted slightly. "I liked it."
"Do you maybe... want to try that again?"
"Definitely."

Bad Ending (Still Kokichi's POV)

I couldn't get to her in time.
I stayed true to my promise and yelled as loud as I could.
I even pretended to defend myself in the trail so that it didn't look like I was framing myself.
I survived the fifty-third killing game.
And I both loved an hated it.
Are there any two-sided shapes?

Word count - 1716.