flower; ch

"oh, sod off will ya?"

thank you for 500 reads already! eek! so sorry it took so long to update, i've been crazy busy with work and then school starting):

**also a PSA before this chapter:
some of the timing may be a bit off! so the last chapter was when they performed no roots at the live lounge, and i'm saying it's before the promo tour (5SOS3). i know this isn't accurate, but just roll with it lol. we're just gonna pretend that happened before 5SOS3 started. so imagine that they did the no roots cover before 5SOS3 started. thank ya🤪 (this means the album isn't out either, but we're pretending they've already been performing youngblood)

additionally: the bbc live lounge is in the u.k.. but i'm an idiot and definitely thought it was in LA. so we're just going to pretend it is. please ignore my idiotic tendencies and read along like i'm not stupid. so the boys are in LA at this point in the story, about to go on tour for 5SOS3 (so it's around mid march) thanks(':

it's no mystery you're so stuck in my mind,
it's what you do to me
{simple romance, coin}

calum

sweet indigo was undeniably terrified when those fans asked for a picture. i was about to speak up for her, as she clearly did not want to be in the picture, when she surprised me by agreeing. she looked beautiful in the picture regardless, and i told her that.

i loved seeing her flush at my compliment, how her heart would noticeably quicken and her hands would start to fidget. i wasn't sure if i had an effect on her because she genuinely liked me, or if it was because she was a fan and i was an idol of hers. i had a feeling it was the latter, but found myself wishing she was developing feelings for me.

it was all rather stupid, really. i knew i wouldn't be good enough for her. i don't do relationships. not because in an asshole who just wants someone to fuck or because i'm afraid of them, i just hate disappointing the girls i'm with. my job takes a lot out of me, and i hardly have time to dedicate to someone. if i'm going to be with someone, not just casually, then i want to be able to actually be with them.

indigo definitely doesn't deserve someone like me, who can't give her everything she needs, but it doesn't stop me from wanting her. at first i figured it was just a physical attraction. i mean, indigo is clearly attractive, and i'm clearly a guy. but now i find myself wanting to make her laugh and feeling weird butterflies in my stomach every time i'm able to make her laugh by something i've said. so clearly it goes a bit farther than that.

however, she technically works for me, and i don't want to get into anything with her, when i know it'll only end in her being hurt. i do really want to get to know her and become friends with her though. she seems like an interesting person and i enjoy having her around. i'm determined to keep it as simple as that.

it's currently six am and i'm getting ready for the day. we leave LA for our promo tour today. our first stop is stockholm. we're meeting in a private parking lot before walking to board the plane.

i'm beyond ready to be on tour again. we haven't gone on tour since Sounds Live Feels Live and, as refreshing this break has been, there is nothing like the rush i get on stage. having thousands of screaming fans, all there for one reason, to support your music. with our fans, there's always a sort of unspoken connection in the room while we're performing. like a buzz thats going through us all, connecting us. it doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, or what's going on in your life. you're all there to live in the moment, and enjoy the music. its fucking awesome and i truly can't believe it's my job.

-

as i pull into the lot, i see the other boys huddled beside the door that i'm guessing goes into the airport. i see indigo standing beside them chatting with crystal, michaels girlfriend, with her camera bag slung over her shoulder. after parking my car i hop out and grab my three bags from the back and lock it.