flower; ch

"the window seat is the safest."

i'm a drop in your ocean, a noise in the crowd.
{trembling hands, the temper trap}

indigo

of. fucking. course.

just my luck i'm sitting beside the one guy that makes me want to spontaneously combust every time i'm alone with him. and now i'm going to be sitting in a small, closed off plane cubicle, for 14 fucking hours. odds are i'll pass out, and not of exhaustion. i am for sure going to embarrass myself at least 30 times, and make him wish he never met me.

not to mention this is my first international flight, and i'm scared shitless. i had to take an anxiety pill before the flight to california, and that knocked me out for that entire flight. for this one, i figured i need to go ahead and get used to flying, since i'll be doing it quite a bit the next few months. because of this, i am currently terrified. i am 90% sure my hands are shaking, and i just hope he can't see that.

as calum started to be nicer to me, i decided i want to become friends with him. i didn't, however, want to get too close to him. i don't really like letting people close to me, or becoming dependent on anyone. i've learned in the past that it's just going to get me hurt. and he's gorgeous and funny, and someone i will most definitely fall for if i let myself. so, the plan was, to not get too close to him, that way i wouldn't be able to fall for him.

but the universe had different ideas because here i am, sitting within a foot of this beautiful boy, for 14 hours. maybe if i just put my earphones in and read my book, i'll fall asleep. but then again, i look like a roach when i sleep even, so maybe sleeping isn't the best idea.

i downloaded 2 seasons of The Office on netflix, so maybe i'll just watch those. maybe he'll fall asleep, that would definitely solve many problems. before i can move to do anything, calum turns to look at me, my right earphone still out of my ear from when i removed it.

"what book are you reading?" he asks, glancing down at my lap at my rugged-looking copy of To Kill A Mockingbird. I slowly turn it over in my shaky hands before lifting the cover toward him.

"T-to Kill A Mockingbird," i respond shyly, not sure if he's read it or not. i don't mention that i've read it easily 30 times, knowing i'll sound like a bookworm if i do.

"i think i remember reading that in school," he nods. "is it worth rereading? i can't remember much about it." his lips turn up slightly, encouraging me to respond. all i can really focus on is how fucking perfect every single one of his facial features are.

i slowly nod and return with my own small smile. "i-i love it, i've reread it a-um.. a few times.." i drift off a bit, contemplating what i'm about to offer. "if-uh, if you want, you can borrow my copy and read it, if you're really curious i guess." i say nervously, trying not to focus on my stutter and awkward speech.

his smile grows and he nods his head excitedly.

"that would be awesome," he says. "i needed a new book to read. i promise i won't lose it or anything." i hand it to him and he starts to put it in his bag. i scrunch my eyebrows together, he sits back up and gestures towards his bag.

"i don't like reading on flights, gives me a headache." he explains, "i'll start it once we get to stockholm." i nod and rest my hands in my lap. they instinctively begin to fidget and my fingers pick at my nails, a habit i've had for years. he lowers his gaze to my hands, raising an eyebrow before lifting his eyes to meet my own.

"are you nervous?" is this guy a goddamn mind reader? i swear i've known him for a few days and he already knows my nervous ticks.

"u-uh yeah, not a fan of flying." he nods and his eyebrows droop a bit, giving me a look of sympathy. he nods his head towards the window before responding.

"if it makes you feel better," he starts. "the window seat is the safest." i raise my eyebrows at this, never having heard of that before. quite frankly, that sounds like a load of shit.

"oh? really?" i question, mentally high-fiving myself at sounding more confident. he glances at his hands quickly before shrugging and letting a sheepish look overcome his features

"i actually have no clue," he admits. "i just wanted to make you feel better. but trust me, i've been on tons of flights and have yet to have any issues. you don't have anything to worry about." i grin stupidly at his confession, finding him hopelessly adorable, and loving the fact that he wanted me not to worry, as stupid as that sounds.

i roll my eyes and turn my gaze to look out the window. "you probably just jinxed us, you know," i mutter jokingly. he lets out a laugh and looks out the window as well, leaning over the partition between us, his face only a few inches from the side of my own.

"let's hope not," he murmurs, so close to my ear i feel goosebumps grow on my arm. i don't quite know why he has this big of an effect on me. it's like the littlest thing he does sets me on fire. i shift in my seat uncomfortably as he leans back into the back of his chair, a smirk resting on his lips.

i pick my phone up and press the power button. immediately a picture of my horse, Doug pops up. he's leased out to an 11 year old now that i'm gone, and i miss him more than anything. as strange as it sounds, he was my best friend, and was one of those animals that could always brighten your day. i smiled at the picture a bit, feeling a twinge of nostalgia looking at it.

"is that your horse?" i hear calum ask from beside me. i turn my head, not expecting him to have been looking at my phone screen.

"oh y-yeah.." i nod, "his name's doug." i smile back at the phone screen. calum lets out a chuckle shifting in his seat to get a better view of my screen.

"i like that name," he says, his voice holding a humorous tone, but not one that made it seem as if he was making fun of me. "i've always been kind of scared of horses, honestly." he admits. i smile slightly at this, imagining calum getting nervous around a horse.

"he's sweet, he loves cuddles and is just really goofy," i ramble. "he's not too intimidating, unless he's in a bad mood, i guess." i shrug before unlocking my phone. i click on netflix and am about to start watching the office when calum speaks up again.

"what are you watching?" i smile at his persistence to talk to me, making me feel bubbly and happy inside.

"The Office, US version," i answer. he perks up and a smile spreads across his face.

"oh can i watch?! i forgot to download anything, and i love the office!" he rambles. my smile widens and i nod before taking out the earbud in my left ear before giving it to him and putting the other in my right ear. i set my phone up against the middle of the seats so we can both see it. he leans against the arm rest and i do too, getting comfortable.

once the sound of michael scott's ridiculous self pipes up, my nerves about flying immediately lessen. i'm not sure if it's the show, or if it's calum' arm resting against my own that's calming me down. now that i'm getting to know him, i'm finding myself more and more at ease around him. like i want to get to know him more and spend more time with him.

and i'm not quite sure if that's a good thing.

-

short chapter, sorry!!

here are my other social medias:
twitter- @sstormycal
instagram- @sstormycal @kaylee.jane

i'm hoping to update again soon since this one was so short!!💓