flower; ch

"she loves you more, you moron."

the rain it came too soon,
i will wait for you to love me again
{outer space/carry on, 5 seconds of summer}

this is my favorite lyric
5sos has ever written

calum

it rained all night, and into the morning. and as the rain streamed down off the roof, i felt comforted when my tears accompanied it down my face. i'm a relatively emotional person, although i try to keep it at bay in public. when i got home however, i fell apart. the look on indigo's face when i told her i wanted it to end, is burned into my brain, unwavering. every single tear she she'd brought me closer to shedding my own. she was beyond hurt, and so confused.

during the whole ride to the airport this morning, i felt suffocated. the air in the car simple wasn't enough. the thought of seeing indigo today, but not being able to sneak touches or kisses behind closed doors, physically hurts me. i'm not sure how i'm going to get through this, but i'm determined to make it work.

upon arriving, i follow follow the boys to the room where we'll be waiting for our plane, nerves rising. i think they can feel the negative vibe i'm giving off, as they haven't really bothered me much. when we enter the room i dart my eyes around, seeing andy standing off to the side with elliot. my eyes widen at the angered look on elliot's face, as he says something filled with rage. as we get closer i can hear their conversation.

"it's almost time for the album to be released!" elliot says angrily, "if she isn't back in a week she's fired, i don't care about her reasons." my heart drops into my ass as i put two and two together. indigo isn't here yet.

she's never late.

did she go home? obviously.

"she said it was a family emergency, and seemed pretty upset, she can take a week off," andy reasons in response. "i'll send her content to edit and she said she'd be back in a week." i feel a pang if guilt sound through me, know she wasn't gone because of a "family emergency."

what if she doesn't come back?

no, she won't do that. she cares too much about her career to let me get in the way of it. she just needs a week to cool down. god, she must be so angry with me. i feel a sudden urge to call or text her, to see how she's doing, but i know i can't. that would just make everything worse.

"have you talked to indie? is she okay?" i'm jerked from my thoughts, i didn't even notice andy standing in front of me. i scatter for an excuse. the other boys are looking at me expectantly. do i tell them? fuck.

"uh-no..." i say slowly, watching all their eyebrows furrow.

"you haven't talked to your girlfriend who you're literally obsessed with about the fact that she's gone home?" luke asks. in this moment i'm finding him extremely agitating.

"no?" i respond, although it comes out as more of a question than a definite answer. they all give me looks of bewilderment, and i want nothing more than to walk away.

"what's going on, mate?" ashton asks, his voice coming off soft, like he doesn't want to piss me off more than i already seem to be. i sigh, picking at my fingers out of frustrating.

"we just... i broke up with her. okay? leave it alone," i respond quickly, looking at the floor. i wince when i feel a sharp pain on the side of my neck. whipping my head up, i watch as ashton retracts his hand. my gaze hardens at the realization that he just hit me.