flower; ch

"was the butt touch too much?"

they, don't understand
they fear they'll lose so much,
if you take my hand
{budapest, george ezra}

indigo
right now i'm leaned up against the front of the barricade, in front of a good thousand or so people while i stare up at ashton and a fan doing shots on stage.

i never really thought much about what i'd do after high school, but i certainly did not think i would be filming a chart-topping band while they're all giggling on stage and drinking god-knows-what with a lucky fan. i guess shit happens though, right?

i look over to andy who's beside me, also laughing lightly while he watches the scene laid out in front of us. fans are screaming behind us, but at this point i'm accustomed to the noise.

it's funny, you could put me in a random room with hundreds of other people talking, and it would lead to me having an insane anxiety attack, but here in this room full of loud music and screaming fans, i've never felt more happy, more carefree. i guess that's what music does to us, right? it embraces us, gives us a home, gives us a connection.

my eyes shift to calum, who's shaking his head at ashton while he smiles. as if feeling my gaze, he meets my eyes, his smile growing when he winks. i hear the group of girls right behind me screech, and i can't blame them. calum hood did just wink in their direction.

the fan onstage hugs each of the boys, the smile on her face prominent as tears glisten her cheeks. i know for a fact this will be all over twitter later tonight. once she's back in her original spot, the concert starts back up.

i glance over at her again, to see her clutching the barricade and looking absolutely gobsmacked. i focus the camera on her, as she mouths, "what the fuck?" over and over. sometimes i forget what it's like to be in her place. when meeting them once or getting a tweet was like winning the lottery. it's truly strange that i actually know them now, and spend almost every day with them.

the show goes on seamlessly, and i let myself get lost in the creative process while taking photos of them from the front. at some point andy leaves to go back stage to take some video, but i'm intrigued by the lights where i'm standing so i decide to stay put. i get many stunning pictures of them all, and end the night with a wide grin and a content feeling in my gut.

-

i'm sitting in the empty dressing room, scrolling through unedited footage from tonight. michael, ashton, and andy were in here earlier, and told me to meet them at the bar across the street whenever i'm ready. i haven't seen luke yet, but they said he's also over there with sierra already.

my attention is caught by the dressing room door, when i see a very sweaty calum walking through. once he sees me sitting there, his smile widens.

"hey baby," he says nonchalantly, as he walks over to set his bass in it's case. i swoon at the pet name, still not used to hearing it from him. setting my computer next to me, i stand up and walk over to him. he turns to me as i approach him, arms wide before embracing me. i cringe at his sweaty body, laughing into his neck.

"you're disgusting right now," i giggle as he peels himself off me. his cheeky smirk makes me roll his eyes, he knew how gross he was.

"go take a shower," i say, my tone serious but my lips are still turned up into a grin. he smirks again, placing his fingers against his chin like he's thinking.

"wanna join me?" i scoff, rolling my eyes again before walking back to the couch and sitting down.

"in your dreams, hood," i give him a glare and he just laughs with a nod.