flower; ch

"love is a wild thing."

calum

having a baby is something i never expected. seeing a small human that is the product of love between you and someone else, is a beautiful experience. despite the crying, pooping, and screaming 24/7, it's magical.

these are the thoughts running through my head right now. it's three am, and nova rae has yet to fall asleep. both indigo and i woke up this time, nova's loud cry making us wake up easily. it's rare i sleep through nova's cries, and i like being awake with them. watching nova nurse is magical in itself, she really loves her mom.

she loves me too, of course, but as nova has realized very quickly that my nipples are not as great as her moms. nova is truly a mix of us. her eyes are a beautiful hazel, emerald green with specs of light brown. i've never thought i'd see eyes as beautiful as indigo's, but nova proved me wrong. she has her mother's light brown hair, but it curls in a way indigo's doesn't. her skin is of darker complexion than indigo's, just like mine. she has the cutest button nose, just like indigo, though.

every time i look at her, i can't help the swelling of my heart with pride. she's quite talkative for a six month old, of course it's all babbles and bubbles. indigo is convinced she's going to be a singer like me, but you never know.

"calum," indigo's soft voice breaks me from my thoughts, my eyes darting to hers as she sits up with nova still laying against her chest.

"she's asleep," indigo murmurs, setting her back in the bassinet next to her bed. we chose to keep nova in our room for various reasons, and once she's a bit older older we plan to co sleep. having her in our room keeps our minds at ease, and we like to be able to hear her at all times.

indigo scoots back up to the headboard, cuddling up next to my side with a hand on my chest. she gazes up at me with a tired smile, which i meet with a soft grin of my own.

"hi," i murmur, lifting my hand to let my thumb trace her cheek delicately. she closes her eyes to my touch, holding herself even closer to me.

"i still can't believe how perfect she is," indigo says, looking up at me. i nod kissing her forehead softly.

"me neither, she's a miracle," i say. at this, indigo let's out a sigh, a tear slipping from her  eye. i hug her tighter, knowing what we're both thinking.

indigo had an unusually difficult pregnancy, something that hurt us both as she experienced it. she suffered from something called hyperemesis gravidarum. we thought it was only morning sickness at first, but when it didn't ease up and she began to lose weight, we knew it was we more than that.

she was extremely uncomfortable throughout the pregnancy, and ended up having to be hospitalized to control it as she wasn't able to get enough nutrients. it made both of us worried, but she really beat herself up over it. she was terrified of hurting the baby, and blamed herself much more than she needed to.

but then nova was born, and she was absolutely breathtaking. she was the perfect weight, and i'll never forget the sound of her cry as soon as she was delivering. i cried against indigo for longer than i'd like to admit, both of us relieved among all else.

nova is honestly an angel. she can be cranky, but is easily cheered up and otherwise a bundle of joy. neither of us were expecting such a happy baby, but her attitude is truly like a breath of fresh air after months of pain and fear.

"let's sleep, flower," i coo, pulling her to lay down with me. she turns to look at nova, and i lay facing the same direction, pulling her back against me as we both gaze at our sleeping child before falling asleep

•

"ba-na-na," i say slowly, pointing at the fruit on nova's plate. she simple mumbles something incoherent, before squishing it in her fingers and lifting it to her lips. i laugh lowly, shaking my head before taking a biteof my bagel. we recently started to let nova eat small foods, and it's strange seeing her eat like a real... human.