flower; ch

"i'm not going anywhere."

like a feather falling past your cheek
feel the breath of heaven on your face
we all die trying to get it right
{we all die trying to get it right, vance joy}

indigo

"i mean we all kind of figured something was going on," michael shrugs. "calum isn't very discrete." i glance at calum to see a pout adorning his face, making me want to laugh. we just told luke and michael that we've been seeing each other, and they took it surprisingly well.

"yeah, even when you tried to talk me out of it i still knew there was something there," luke boasts, a proud little smile on his face.

"we just don't want it getting out yet, since indigo technically works for us and such," calum says beside me. i nod in response and smile at him.

"i'm sorry we kept it a secret," i start. "i was just scared of what everyone would think."

"what are you going to do if elliot finds out?" ashton asks. i furrow my eyebrows, feeling the anxiety raising in my chest. i feel calum's hand slip into mine, as if he can tell i'm getting worked up.

"we'll deal with that when it comes. elliot is a right idiot at times, and i know he'll cause hell. so, we're just trying to keep it on the down low for now." everyone nods and i feel myself relax at how well this went. they each file out of calum's room, making comments about how they need to get ready before the show tonight. they're playing in Chicago tonight, it's hard to believe we're about half way through this tour.

once everyone leaves, i turn to walk in the bathroom to freshen up for the day. calum follows behind me, grabbing his brush from beside the sink as i plug in my straightener. we lock eyes in the mirror and he gives me a playful wink, making me blush and look down. it's funny how despite all the time we spend together, he can still make me get flustered by a simple wink. it doesn't help that i can't stop thinking about what we did yesterday morning.

"oh, calum?" i say, realizing there is something i need to talk to him about.

"hmm?" he questions, while still brushing his recently dried hair up and to the side.

"so, you know how we'll be in nashville tomorrow?" he nods. "my mom is going to be driving up to come to the show," i say nervously, gauging his reaction. he stops brushing and raises an eyebrow, his lips turning up slightly.

"is that so?" he ponders, turning his body to face me as i do the same, setting my straightener down onto the counter.

"does she know about us?" he asks softly, trying to keep a neutral face. i nod, my cheeks heating up, hoping he won't be mad i told her.

"i tell her everything, i've always been really close to her," his smile widens at my words.

"hopefully she'll like me," he says quietly, turning back to out his brush down. i admire his perfectly styled hair, sharp jaw line, and the way his muscles in his shoulders flex as he moves them to adjust his outfit. he's wearing fitted grey striped trousers, along with a guns and roses shirt, and he looks stunning.

"do you think she will?" i'm broken out of my thoughts when calum speaks again, a worried look on his face while i rack my brain to remember what we were speaking about.

"o-oh yeah! she's excited to finally get to meet you!" his smirk returns and he walks a little closer, his chest hitting mine softly as he looks down at me.

"so you've talked a lot about me?" he asks cheekily, making my cheeks heat up as i make eye contact with the fabric covering his collarbone instead.

"i mean... yeah," i start quietly. "she's been hearing about you for years." i almost whisper the last part, feeling a tad embarrassed. he takes my chin in his hand, lifting it up so we're looking at each other.

"hmm that's right, i forgot you were quite the calum girl before we met," he says, making me scoff while i try to hide the blush that won't leave my face.

"you know, i think i'm more of a luke girl now," i retort, narrowing my eyes at him before spinning on my heel and walking back to the room. it's not long before i hear him walk out past me, grabbing his phone and wallet from the dresser before turning to me with an annoyed expression.

(a/n this part is so cringe oh well)

"i'm clearly joking calum," i say amusedly. as i say it, he smiles triumphantly, making me roll my eyes at his childish behavior. he looks at his phone while he leans against the wall. i look at him and can't help but admire the contrast of his complexion against the cream wall.

"wait, stay there," i say quickly, walking to my camera bag before pulling my small film camera and walking over to him. he stays frozen in place, trying to hide the smile creeping on his face from my antics. i look through the small view finder, load the film, then press down, taking the photo. once it's taken calum smiles up at me and walks to look over my shoulder.

"can i see it?" he asks curiously. i laugh softly before dropping my hand and looking at him.

"it's film, so not until i take it and get it processed," i pat his shoulder, laughing again when i see his pout.

"take one on my phone then," he murmurs, handing it to me before standing against the wall again, imitating his previous pose. i press the home screen, watching as the screen lights up and immediately unlocks to my fingerprint, something calum insisted on having put in one night at 2am. his fingerprint is on my phone too. my heart nearly leaps out of my chest when i see his home screen. it's a photo i took one morning, our hands holding each others against a white duvet. the inner photographer in me loved the look of our hands contrasting the pale blanket. if i take a photo of us alone, i try to take them on my film camera, simply because i don't want a picture that could get leaked in some way from me or calum's phone. on this particular morning i didn't feel like walking to my bag, so calum let me snap a photo with his phone.

once i go to the camera app, i snap a couple, grinning stupidly as i admire him through the phone. after a couple shots, he turns his head to look at the camera a hint of a smirk as one side of his mouth curves upward.

"smile," i demand softly, a smile on my face as i watch him turn his smirk into a toothy smile.

"you look amazing," i whisper, meaning to say it in my head but knowing i didn't when his smile widen and his eyes scrunch together. his cheeks tint a soft red and i'm quick to snap another photo before lowering his phone. once i do, he strides forward quickly, taking me by surprise and bringing his hands to cup my face. he glances at my eyes, before leaning in and smashing his lips to mine.

i close my eyes and relax into the kiss instantly, letting my hands wrap around his torso loosely to rest hold each other against the small of his back. he keeps the kiss soft and sweet, all the while keeping the passion as well. his thumbs stroke my cheekbone before he pulls his head back, locking eyes with my own. he places a soft kiss on my nose, making my face heat up before i return the gesture cheekily.

"thank you," he whispers out. i furrow my eyebrows, wondering what he's thanking me for.

"for what?" i respond, just as softly.

"i don't quite know, just... just being here." his voice is quiet and his eyes radiate a warm and light brown shine as he leans his forehead against mine. i smile softly before responding.

"i'm not going anywhere."

-
a short filler (and poorly written) chapter🤧  life is just frustrating right now so it's getting harder to write and just do anything other than work and school and sleep tbh. i'm trying to channel all my stress and sadness into inspiration for my writing but it's just hard. hopefully i'll be able to write better soon :')

regardless, thank you for sticking w me and just being lovely. your comments make my day so much better, my heart gets so happy when i get a comment/vote notification. feedback is always welcome and appreciated. 💛

xx kayl