Type Of Story: 1D Fanfic
Author: boobearL
Story Rating: R
Reads: 725
Votes: 34
Comments: 18
Description:
The lights were turned off and the day curtains were not letting much light in. Instead of turning on the light, I open the curtains. I scan the room for Louis, finally finding him in the corner, sitting on the floor. As I close the door he says, in a voice barely audible, 'Help me.'
Suggested If: You like sad fics that're both Elounor and Louis/OC
My Review: The plot started off really carroty and cliche and it still soooort of is, but this is definitely one of those stories that gets better the more you get into it. I like your varying chapter lengths and your grammar and spelling is actually pretty good. I'd say your biggest problem is dialogue. When you write dialogue, you want it to be written "like this" with two quotation marks, NOT 'like this' with one quotation mark. That makes it sort of hard to read and it looks like thoughts instead of actual dialogue. Also, when a new character is speaking, you want to create a new paragraph. Overall though, it's definitely not the best story ever, but for a first fanfic it's pretty decent (:
Note To Author: You should continue it (:
Rating (1-5): Grammar/Spelling: 4
Plot: at first 2, but later 3
Other Notes: If anything else, I would work on descriptions OR if you want to skip things like shopping DON'T write it like *~skipping this because I'm lazy. Instead, write it like: 'Hours later, we came out of the mall, multiple shopping bags in hand...' Or something like that!
