Fanfic Review: Forced Fiancée // l.h.

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Type Of Story: 5SOS Fanfic

Author: AyeLarryOkay

Story Rating: PG-13

Reads: 308

Votes: 29

Comments: 4

Description:

"I hate myself for letting myself fall for such an asshole."

Suggested If: You like fics where Luke is sort of dark

My Review: I like the overall idea of the plot, but I feel like the pace of thins goes really really really fast. I mean one minute he's hitting her, the next minute he's saying he loves her, and then the next minute he's saying she was a fake? I think you definitely need to slow it down. Your grammar and spelling is okay, not the best in the world, but not the worst either. I'd say your biggest issues are your/you're and to/too. This might help:

Your/You're

Your-shows possession. For example: "is he YOUR boyfriend?"

You're-you are something. For example: "YOU'RE so funny!"

You're also works when you're going to do something. For example: "YOU'RE going to the party right?"

To/Too

To-means you're going to do something. For example: "I'm going TO the park!"

Too-means the same thing as 'also.' For example: "You're going to the concert TOO, right?"

I hope that little grammar lesson helped some xD overall, it's not the best story, but I think if you edit it and slow the plot down, it'd turn out a lot better.

Note To Author: I suggest either going back and editing the chapters or consider a possible rewrite!

Rating (1-5): 2.5

Other Notes: If you do rewrite the story, remember not to rush the plot. Take your time with it and make sure it flows together nicely (:

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