Roadtrip Oneshots

Jandy, Normality

Andy

Only Jack really ever understood me. He was the only one to notice my weird behaviour if something happened out of the blue, and off schedule.

Because when that happens, I'd freak out. Not a lot, but enough to make me zone out, and enough to make me feel uneasy, and jittery, and just...
I don't even know. But Jack was the only one who ever really caught on to it, and the only who ever really knew how to help.

***

"Newcastle show's been moved forwards Fovvlar." Rye walked into the Mindy room on his phone, not even looking up.

I frowned as I took his words in, already having to slide one of my hands beneath my covers to hide the slight tremble.

"How far forwards?" I somehow questioned levelly, reaching for my list I'd only written out earlier today; that list had everything we needed to get done before this Newcastle show, and if there wasn't enough time to get everything done...

I'd have to update the schedule. Again. And I hated it. I hated how it made me feel. How it made me feel stupid, and jittery, and I just hated it.

"It's in two days time, and not in a week." At his words it felt like the world was crashing down all around me. But only to me. No one else felt this way. Because they were normal.

On my list I'd accounted for six days to get everything done, and now we had just over one, seeing as we had to travel, and pack our stuff for the show.
What the hell were we supposed to do? There was no way in hell we were getting everything done! We barely had time to complete two of the twenty tasks I'd written down!

My heart began to speed up then, and I had to hold my breath to stop it from shaking.
"What about the Roadies?" I breathed out a few seconds later, already frantically scribbling away on another sheet of paper, trying to fit everything in, making a new schedule, an intense one, trying to fit in as much as possible.

Even I knew it wasn't possible to fit everything in, but I wasn't really thinking logically.
Schedules... they'd ruled my life for so long. Every week I'd write a new one, a deep sense of satisfaction settling within me as each task and activity was completed by the weeks end.
There were some occasions where I wouldn't finish the list, and I'd start to panic.

I think that was what was happening now. And I hated it.

"I told them as soon as I knew, and so far everyone can still make it to the show." Rye was still tapping away on his phone, and I assumed he was in contact with a number of Roadies. After all, how was he supposed to know if they could still make it to the show or not?

"And what about those few that can't?" I gritted my teeth when I saw my handwriting becoming sloppy and jagged. I had to put the pen down, and tangle my hand in my sheets.
My hands just wouldn't. Stop. Shaking.
Why was I even like this?

"There's not a lot we can do about it Fovvs... we'll just have to sort something out." Rye finally looked up from his phone then, sparing me a quick glance before rummaging through the cupboards, for, I assumed, food.

"It's not fair on them... why are we rearranging it anyway?" Whilst I was fighting on behalf of the Roadies, I  was also fighting for myself. I could my heart continuing to pick up the pace, and it scared me. It always did. Because I never knew how much I'd panic until I was panicking and...