Roadtrip Oneshots

Randy, Raw Emotions (Part 2)

This was requested, so I thought I'd better write it before I get killed :)
❤️😂
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Rye

I didn't know when it had started, but I knew that I had most definitely been drunk. That was a certain; because myself and Andy had had a fight, and I wanted to drown my sorrows. But I guess I'd drunk far too much, because I lost all sense of control and ended up in this young woman's bed. I woke up the next morning, ashamed and mortified by what I had done.

And then every time I got drunk after that, I'd wake up in her bed.

So then it came to me breaking it off with Andy. I couldn't stay in a relationship with him while this was happening; I didn't trust myself any more, and I knew that Andy couldn't trust me.

I figured my best bet would be to make him hate me completely, so I broke it off with him without an explanation. I knew he was upset, distraught, because I had the boys calling me up, asking me what the hell I had done. I had no reply, so I ignored the calls for a day or two, stayed at hers.

I wasn't even with the young woman, but she let me stay without question. I didn't even know what was happening between us; I didn't understand why I'd cheated on Andy with her. It was Andy I was in love with, not her.

Then I admitted the truth to Andy, about how I'd been cheating on him for the last month with some young woman who I didn't even know all that well. I knew my way around her bedroom, and her front door. That was it.

Just as I'd hoped, Andy was furious. I could see it, feel it, as we filmed the video for Bohemian Rhapsody, his body was rippling with emotion. But I had to say stoic, I had to stay in character. He had to hate me. I wanted him to hate me for what I had done. So I had pushed him. I'll admit, I had frozen after I'd done so; I'd never pushed Andy around like that.

And then I had left for a day or two, once again staying at her house. I don't know why I kept going back. But the last three times nothing had happened between us. I turned up without warning, I slept on her couch, I was gone before she woke up the next morning.

I didn't even know her name.

How on earth was I going to make this right?

I'd messed up, big time. And with the one person that made me the happiest I had ever been. Two years, and that was down the drain. All because I had got drunk and couldn't control myself.

But I'd asked Andy to go on a walk with me outside when I came back. He reluctantly agreed, and I wanted to tear myself apart for the redness to his eyes. He'd been crying again, and rightfully so.

"I was never with her Andy, but I know that doesn't make this any better." I started softly, staring straight ahead.

"Did you sleep with her?"

The question caught me off guard, but I was going to be honest. After what I'd done, Andy deserved that.

"More than once." I whispered, still absolutely mortified by my actions. I still couldn't believe that my drunken self had thought it okay to sleep with some random girl I'd met at a bar.

I couldn't believe I had done that to Andy.

"Okay."

I couldn't decide how he was feeling with just one word. I looked over to him, feeling physically ill at his expression. I couldn't even read that... what the hell had I done?

"I was drunk Andy, every time I did so; and again, I know it doesn't make this acceptable."

I don't know what I was trying to do. Ask for forgiveness? I didn't deserve it. Ask him to understand? I wouldn't blame him if he didn't want to. He had every right to yell at me. To scream in my face as he had done not too long ago.