Tom's Sky (¡A Tom Hiddleston fanfiction !)

#44

"I can't do this anymore"

If i had feelings for this man, standing right in front of me, this was a very weird way to demonstrate.

"Do what?"

He looked perplexed.

I couldn't tell what was going thru his mind right now.

"This, i can't... Tom i can't see you anymore"

My sight was getting blurry, tears threatened to fall.

I looked away, trying to remain strong in my decision.

This was madness.

I'm playing with my own heart.

I can't keep seeing him and suffering like this, knowing that in any moment he will disappear.

Knowing that he doesn't feel the same.

At least not as much as I do, or the I would like to.

I know he's super kind, a gentleman, he's nice with every creature on this earth, but it affects me more than anyone else.

It's hard for a fan that have zero opportunities to meet him, to be close to him, to know that they will never have a chance.

But for a fan like me, that have him close like this, to have the opportunity to hug him, to laugh with him, to feel special with him, to share experiences with him and to even have been fuckimg kissed by him, it was even worse.

You may think: Oh, but you are so lucky at least to hang out with him.

Oh, but at least he knows your existence.

Oh, but at least be kissed you, none of us will never have that.

No...

You'd rather be thousands of miles away being unknown by him than being this close and to not mean anything to him.

"What?"

He looked astonished, as if i was joking.

This has to be done, otherwise, i would end up locked in a cage.

If this go further and he keeps being like this i will fall hard and no one will be there to hold me.

I'll be falling in a hole and I don't know if i'd be able to get out of it, sane.

"I can't do this, no more"

I was crumbling, every word was a knife in my chest.

For the greater good.

I'd let this go further and further but for what, so at the end i end up in pieces while he walks away elegantly.

"Skylar, what are you saying?"

It was the first time in months he calls me by my full name.

"I'm sorry, Tom, I have to... i need to go now"

Or this will get harder each second.

I didn't even thought i'd have the strength to say this.

Stepping back slowly, i turn around and walk away.

Away from his eyes, his lips, his scent, the warm feeling in my stomach when i'm near him.

I left him there, standing quietly, staring at me.

He didn't try to stop me, he didn't attempt to follow me.

He watched me walk away from him.

Just when i opened the door to leave for good, someone did the same from the outside.