Tom's Sky (¡A Tom Hiddleston fanfiction !)

#69

Have you ever been at the edge of drowning?

You desperately swim to get out of the water, but the more you shake your arms, the deeper you go.

You feel heavy, always sinking.

You run out of oxygen.

You search for anything to hold on to.

But there's nothing but water around you, your chest aches.

Desperately searching below you somewhere to stay put, but there's no ground, you can't touch it.

You scream in pain but there's only bubbling.

Voiceless.

Your ears buzzing, and you can only hear the last bubbles of air coming out of your mouth, before you give in and you are no longer fighting.

You start going down, drown.

You no longer see the surface.

Nothing can hold you up as you sink deep in the dark.

I almost drowned a few times.

I know the feeling, i still remember the sensation of despair.

This, was much worse.

There was no water.

Just me, in a bed.

Crying because i just found out i was pregnant.

And that i just had a miscarriage.

I could had a baby... and i lost it.

9 weeks pregnant and i just lost it.

How did i not noticed?

How can i be so stupid?

How could i forget to take the pills?

All those symptoms.

I thought it was stress.

How didn't i notice that my period was late?

I'm such an idiot!

God, forgive me.

I was going to be a mom?

And... oh my dear Lord!

Tom was going to be a father!

I could have ruined his life if he wasn't ready.

Damn, I WASN'T ready.

He's going to loath me when he finds out i was so neglect and got pregnant.

And i was.

I should have known.

This is terrible!

I just lost his posible child, even if he wouldn't want to be the father.

I lost my child.

I felt it and i didn't realize what it was until now.

I felt it inside me.

Did i lose him because i didn't take care of him properly?

"It was my fault" i whispered, between sobs.

"Miss Williams" the Doctor spoke, i didn't know if he was standing there this whole time.

"I just want you to know that it wasn't your fault"

"It was, i should have known, and take care of myself" i cried.

"It has nothing to do with the fact that you didn't know... or even if you drank... i know, the blood results came out, showing a bit of alcohol in your system" he said when i stared at him, surprised.