Tom's Sky (¡A Tom Hiddleston fanfiction !)

#55

On Christmas, Liam and I sat on the table at his place, the one Ge left for him.

Only forks and spoons were heard as we ate dinner.

"Merry Christmas, Skylar" Liam said after a long silence.

I looked at him and smiled, he's been such a good friend to me.

"Happy Christmas, Liam" i said, taking his hand in mine.

"I'm sorry for this sad and lonely night and that your friends are not here" he apologises and i shake my head.

"Don't say that, you're my friend and you're here with me, you are always with me"

We both blushed when i said that so we looked away, awkwardly.

It would be so much easier if i could like Liam the way i like Tom.

He's loyal, always here for me, funny, smart, kind, he's single and he actually likes me... everything i like, but on another man.

Friend-zone is so unfair.

I slept over at Liam's, i really wasn't feeling like going home to be alone.

The old house has plenty of rooms.

Liam decided Ge's old room should stay closed to respect his memory so he took the room next door.

I cried a lot that night, everything just getting heavier at night, overwhelming me.

Christmas without my brother, without my friends, without Ge, without myself.

I missed how i used to be, how everything used to be.

I could see the moon from my window.

He's out there, somewhere under this same moon.

Is he out there, somewhere, searching for me in every person he meets, like i do?

My friends should think i'm mental.

Can't help but wonder if he's thinking about me, about everything that happened between us.

About that night in New York... and the next morning.

I wonder if he's texting her right now, telling her he misses her.

If he called her tonight, wishing her a happy Christmas.

Or maybe she's with him right now, maybe in New year's eve they will toast and at midnight they will kiss.

How can i get over this?

I can't start over if i can't move on.

How am i suppose to date someone else when he's all over my thoughts?

But i miss him, his eyes, his smile, his lips, his hands over me.

All of me belongs to him and he doesn't even know or care.

I could sneak in Liam's room and...

No...

I'm not gonna use Liam, i'm not like that.

Stop crying about it!

I let this happen, i got vulnerable, naive.

I shouldn't have let my heart get so "free will" style.

Look at all the mess that caused.

Happiness depends on you, don't expect someone else to give it to you.

I guess that applies for love as well.

I should have known from the moment we met, from the moment he smiled at me.