The Architect. [The Blacklist. Donald Ressler X Oc]

Keen II

Ressler.

There were times, very specific times, in which I caught myself in an inevitable spiral of bad, terrible thoughts.

Everything that had happened today, everything had been a catalyst for me. The end result of the day was me locking myself in my office for almost the whole night, just thinking awful things that didn't make me feel any better about myself. And I couldn't go home because I knew Maggie would look at me, ask me with her eyes what was wrong, and I'll just... Collapse.

I had to admit that I never liked Tom Keen, I hated him. He made Liz happy, sure, but he had also done so many things to her that I couldn't forgive, even if she had.

From the moment Liz told us that she hadn't heard from him and she wanted to use our resources to find him, I knew something was wrong. Everytime he went missing it meant he was doing something he wasn't supposed to.

It wasn't until later that day, when Liz and I were in a hotel where there had clearly been a struggle, and then the shack with the tarps and the makeshift meat grinder full of blood, then I knew that Tom was in real trouble.

I tried to convince Liz that he was a big boy and he could get out of trouble as much as he got into them, I also understood her state, she was getting increasingly anxious the more gruesome the scenes turned.

It was then, when I hugged her when she was in the thin line of crumbling down and having to be strong, then I began to spiral down myself.

The second I put myself in her position, of being in the pursuit of my missing spouse, finding blood everywhere I knew she'd been... For a while I tried not to end that sentence, eventually, I couldn't do anything but thinking of the worst outcome.

Tom Keen died that day. Liz was put in a medical coma until her head injury healed to the point there was no significant neurological damage. Then, we would have to wait for her to just wake up.

I was sitting in the office. I didn't want to go home and at the same time it was all I wanted, I wanted to hug Mags and I wanted her to tell me that everything was okay, but I didn't wanted her to see me like this, so beaten. I felt pathetic, and I felt bad that I was feeling like this because I wasn't the one anyone had to feel bad about.

I arrived home when the sun was about to peak out of the horizon. The darkest time of the day, right before sunrise.

I walked to the bedroom, Maggie was sleeping in the middle of the bed, she had Alma sleeping next to her.

I just took my shoes off and my jacket, unbuttoning my shirt.

I laid in bed next to her, trying my hardest not to wake her up, or the kid. Just now I realized I was running on very low energy, but I still didn't managed to go to sleep. I remained awake, watching the sun light up the room minute by minute. After I guessed was 2 hours, the alarm on Maggie's phone began to ring.

I watched her reach out to it and shut it down. Then she moved her hand to touch my leg, just now realizing I was in bed.

"Hey" she said with a groggy voice. She let her head fall heavily on the pillow again, giving me her back "when did you return?" She asked quietly.

"Two hours ago" I replied, wishing she would stop there. She turned around and moved one of her legs in top of me, her body followed, she straddled me to kiss me, then landed her foot in the other side of the bed.