Always

Chapter 48

I climbed in the shower and tried to let the hot water scald away my worries and insecurities that I was having about Colby. It had never been this way with us. I know that he's slept with a lot of girls. We've even seen them around LA. It never bothers me much because I know that they didn't mean anything and were just there to pass the time...but Tessa. I just have a bad feeling and I know that he isn't telling me something. The shower eventually does the trick, and I climb out and dry off. After I'm dressed, I wrap my hair up in a towel, and gather my clothes, making my way back to Colby's room. I started to open the door when I hear him on the phone. He's speaking in hushed tones, and I know that I shouldn't...but I do. I lean my head closer to the door, pressing my ear against the hard wood, so that I can hopefully hear better. "No, Tessa." He sounds annoyed and I can almost bet that he's dragging his hand through his hair right now, tangling the blue streaks with the brown. "Look, I know what how it use to be. It isn't like that now. She's not like the others." I heard him let out a heavy sigh. I know that I should stop listening to his conversation but why is he speaking in a hushed whisper. I know he's trying to hide this conversation from me. "Just don't tell her. I'll tell her when I'm ready. PLEASE!" He says the last word more forcefully, and I decide to open the door. The look on his face would have been comical, if I wasn't a little heartbroken from him hiding something. He must have been planning to take a shower after me, or either just getting comfortable because his shirt was off. I tried to not let it show how much that actually affected me, even after all this time. His mouth dropped open, pupils blown, eyes wide, and the phone fell from his hand onto the cream colored carpet. "Y/n, uh..um, I was just," he stammered out. I held up my hand to stop him. I really didn't think I could handle an actual lie from him today. Not after everything else. "Just stop." I said, my voice like ice. I couldn't even meet his gaze. "I know that you're hiding something from me Colby. I don't know what it is, but I know that it involves Tessa. I didn't think that you and I would ever have this problem. I thought you were different." I did turn my head to meet his gaze then, his blue eye sad and guilty. "I did hear you say that you would tell me when you were ready so I guess that's something. We've been through too much, so I guess I'll give you the benefit of a doubt and I hope that you'll tell me soon. Just answer me one question." He nodded but didn't say anything. "Have you cheated on me?" I asked, praying to God that he didn't make the pit in my stomach worse than it already was right now. We had rarely been apart but he did go visit his family for a couple of days last year, and I didn't go. His eyes clouded over and I felt the floor drop out from under me. "Y/n, I-" I didn't let him finish. I didn't think that I could hear it. His eyes said it all. I left the room quickly, trying not to run, hearing his voice calling me from behind. Before I reached the stairs, I felt him grab my arm and spin me around to face him. I tried to snatch away but he had me in a vice grip. "You need to listen to me!" I didn't look at him. I knew that if I looked at him, I would believe whatever crap story he was about to give me. I didn't need the details. I saw it in his face. "I didn't! I didn't cheat on you!" His deep voice was getting shrill and his grip moved from my arm, down to my hips. His bare chest was almost touching me. "Y/n, you have to believe me." I shook my head and lifted it to meet his gaze. I knew that there were tears in my eyes because I could feel them threatening to leak out. I never would have expected this. Not in a million years. "I saw it in your face Colby. In your eyes. You know you can't lie to me." I laugh shortly, although nothing about this was humorous. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "That's because I feel guilty even though we weren't technically together. I never told you about it." His hand left my hip, and came up to my face. The pad of his thumb rubbed gently over my bottom lip, before swiping at a lone tear that had fallen over my cheek. "Please just let me explain." His eyes were burning into my mine again, begging for me to understand. It's really not fair when he uses his eyes on me. "Fine." I replied, but I kept my voice monotone, emotionless. "Let me go." Hurt passed over his eyes but he did as I said, dropping his hands from me, letting them fall to his sides. I stalked back into his room and sat at the desk again. This was a hell of a first day in Kansas. If this was a foresight into how the whole trip was going to be, I should just leave tomorrow. I didn't look at him as he entered the room, instead picked up a pencil from the desk and starting dropping it between my fingers, letting the eraser bounce off the desk. He sat down on the bed. I couldn't see him but I could feel him staring at me, his gaze burning into me. "Talk." I stated, still emotionless. I heard him sigh again, and peeked a glance at him. Sure enough, he was dragging his hand through his hair. "Okay. I didn't lie. Tessa and I didn't have a 'relationship' after we broke up. We were just friends...but we were friends with benefits." My head snapped up and met his gaze. It seemed like he almost flinched under my glare, but I'm not sure. "Let me finish." He said, holding his hand up. "We would hook up every time I was here or she came to LA to visit some other friends. Probably two or three times a year." 

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