Chapter 48

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Only the clatter of chopsticks against the plates were heard over the eery uncomfortable silence.Namjoon had exchanged a few words when he met his father and that was it,nothing more.His mother kept enquiring about his life and his short answers satisfied them.After that there was literally nothing,void.

Mr.Kim wasn't neccessarily a strict  parent but he is the kind one would draw as someone who barely shows emotions and a tsundere of kinds.
"Taehyung comes often to give me reports,You are doing a pretty good job,Namjoon",Su man said,his eyes meeting Namjoon's.That sounds like a compliment.Namjoon bowed a little and resorted to a simple reply,"Thankyou"
Shil dam smiled as he gently patted Namjoon's back.Yeon Ja,Namjoon's mother called for the maid to serve Namjoon more food but Namjoon politely declined,before looking up at his father.
"How's your health been,father?",He asked.
"Don't give me false hopes,Son.I might end up thinking that you actually care"
Shil dam opened his mouth to defend but Yeon Ja got there first.

"Ofcourse he cares,Yeobo.He does calls me and enquires at times",Yeonja smiled, her dimples deeper than Namjoon's.She looked beautiful,familiar to a face he has known years ago.Something that haunts.Namjoon tilted his head at his mother in confusion who shook her head alerting him.Namjoon missed her,yes.

His mother had always cared and loved him a lot,but she was always busy.When his father had fell sick after his sister's demise,Yeon Ja was in charge of building back the household and the Kim kingdom to normal.She had always made sure to tuck Namjoon in,sing to him at times.But she couldn't fill the void his Noona left behind.She was never able to replace the memories and that's why Namjoon had to leave.It's not his father's or mother's fault.It's just life.Namjoon smiled back at his mother.

"I have invited Hee min to discuss your engagement with his daughter.He wanted to do rush the wedding in an year of her debut",Su man casually said  and Namjoon's smile faltered almost instantly.If this had been said few months ago,he would have sat there straight and welcomed the news.He looked around at his uncle,who nodded assuringly.
"About that,I need to talk in private later,hyung",Shil dam said.Su man looked at his brother  curiously before sending a quick glance at a worried Namjoon.He sensed the worry but he doesn't ask.

The dinner wrapped up earlier than Namjoon thought and while his uncle and father retired to the study for some private conversations,Namjoon took a small detour to his old room.It was just like how he left it years ago.He hadn't stayed here even after coming over from Canada and certainly didn't venture upstairs on that few dinner nights he had attended.But today he wanted to walk down that memory lane.He walked around his huge room,stacked with photo frames and books by the shelf.The fire place holding a huge painting.Everything felt the same,the cold wind that rippled through the curtains,the odour of the old books sprawled by the rug near fireplace on a winter night read,the way the lava lamp emitted light and blobs detaching from the bottom,the way the smile on the photos stayed.Particularly on the one with him sitting on the snow,dressed in thick coats,his sister pyramiding a huge ball of snow over his head and a Jungkook by the side,sulky because he didn't get enough attention .Father scolded Noona a lot that day because Namjoon ended up having a cold later and Namjoon hadn't really minded.It was all fun.

Namjoon parted the curtains and the gush of wind hit him heavy,goosebumps coming alive.
"Joonie",Yeon ja's soft sound knocked him out of his reverie.Namjoon turned around as he watched his mother take a few steps to sit on the bed.She patted the space next to her,urging him to sit.
Namjoon complied.

Yeon ja endearingly patted Namjoon's back.
"How are you,Joonie?"
Namjoon's gaze lifts from the floor to his mother's bright eyes and a smile formed at the corner of his lips.
"I am okay these days,mom.I am happy",Namjoon said,his mind running around a certain someone.
"I figured",Yeon ja chuckled lightly,"I missed you"
"I did too..But why..why didn't you visit me,mom? You know I can't come here,but you can"

Yeon ja sighed and she seemed as if she was choosing the right words to say,but before she spoke,she took Namjoon's left hand in hers.
"Namjoonah..When I lost Yun ah,I lost you too on the same day-",
Namjoon flinched at the mention of his sister's name yet Yeon Ja continued,"It still resonates in me,the way you were shaking.I did everything I could to save you..This place,these people..everything hurt you more,and I willingly parted from you ...the biggest pain a mother could go through..I took it so that your pain ends,I let you go "
Yeon Ja shuddered,rubbing her thumb slightly over Namjoon's hand,comforting his aching heart.
"This place hurts me too Namjoon,I still can't walk across her room,the hall.The room has never been touched.And your father wouldn't listen..the prestige,the ancestory home..And I would want to come to you,but I remember what you said once.. that I remind you of Yun ah"
"Mom,I -",Namjoon started remembering that fight he had when he wanted to move away,weirdly he had landed the blame on his mom.
"It's okay,Namjoonah,I should have stayed with you...You are happy now and that make me happy too",Yeon ja's dimple makes an appearance as she reached up to run her hands through Namjoon's hair.

"Mom",Namjoon's voice lightly broke as he addressed his mother.
"mm?"
"I am sorry,I wasn't a good son"
Yeon ja chuckles and turns to look at Namjoon.
"I wasn't a good mother either,we are even"
"Do you..do you wanna know what made me happy?",Namjoon asked unsurely and Yeon ja tilted her head in confusion.
"What?"
"I'll take you to meet her once"
"In young?I have met her before,haven't I?"
Namjoon bit his lips and said,"It's not In young"

"ATTACK!!!!!",So won screamed as she fisted into the game console,Jin falling over the edge of the couch.
"Don't freaking scream into my ear,Be lady like",Jin retorted as he climbed back up.
"Who defined 'Lady like'? What if what you men do is more lady like?",She said as she swerved side ways to get her character to the left side of the screen.
"Am not having this conversation",Jin said as he bumped against So won and they fell flat forward.

"umm..Hi",A voice by the open door attracted the duo's attention.
"Who are you?",So won asked rather bluntly as Rachel bit her lips.Jin stepped around So won after scrambling to his feet and said,"am sorry,I forgot you were coming"
So won peered over Jin's shoulders,practically hooking her head on his shoulder to take a look at the girl.
"Who is she?",She whispered again.

A/n:I wasn't supposed to write this,but I did.
Important question?
The chapters are close to 50,Should I split the book or continue like wise

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