Mess Around

Chapter 33: Brother Time

1 WEEK LATER

"I need to get laid." I sigh. "Its been too long."

"What about Jace?" Alicia laughs.

"What about him?"

"I dont know, I just thought you were kind of seeing him again."

I shake my head.

"Al, I'm single. I'm not back with him. I dont even think I could have sex with him again. I mean, I've thought about it but... well you know why I don't wanna go there."

She nods.

"Yeah, but you find him hot still dont you?"

"Yeah, of course I do. He's good looking and I've always thought that, but we have a lot of history."

She gives me a look.

"You don't want to give yourself to him again do you?"

I shake my head and look down.

"I'm just scared if anything like that happens, I'll start to fall in love with him again... and then he could break my heart all over again. I don't want to get in to anything."

She frowns.

"You really need to tell him this. Just be honest with him. I still dont get the point in you being in contact with him and going on dates, when you cant fucking trust him. I get that he was your first love, but you and him ended for a reason. You're on good terms with him now, which is nice and I'm happy for you, but now you need to forget about him. If you cant decide and you dont think it feels right, then stop all of this."

I nod slowly.

"You wasted years on him before, and now you're wasting more time on him."

I laugh softly.

"What?"

"Thats what Michael pretty much said."

She raises her eyebrows.

"Well he is right. You cant force this sort of thing Sam. Do what makes you happy. Jace used to make you happy, but he hasn't done for a very long time now."

I frown.

"What's the point in wasting time on your ex, when you could be out there meeting new people, and maybe meet the love of your life. The man you'll marry and have kids with. Jace is holding you back."

I nod slowly.

"I'm just giving you my advice. If you think it could work out between you and Jace again, then go for it, but I know you're not sure. To be honest, I dont see it working with you and him again. If you dont have trust, then you dont have nothing."

"Yeah..." I sigh. "You're right. It's just seeing him again fucked me up. I thought I'd give it a go and see how things went. I guess I should speak to him..."

"Yeah." She smiles. "Just tell him you gave it a go, but you're done with the dating thing and you want to move on."

I nod slowly. Have I give it a go though? I mean, we've had a few dates and that's it. Maybe there could be something between us again, but I'm not giving it a chance.

"Wheres the fun, care free, party animal girl gone? She needs to come back out." Alicia smiles.

I smile slowly and nod.

"She does. Let's go out this weekend, get blind drunk and get laid."

"There she is." Alicia laughs. "Let's do it."