HeartBREAK

Chapter six

Alec finally finished unpacking his suitcase as Magnus walked into their room. "Where have you been?", He asked. "I just hung out with Cat and Rag a little and the Like gathered us around to make an announcement." "What did he say?", Alec asked and dropped himself into his bed. "Just prepared us for our year a little, gave us the timetables..." "Is yours hell as well?", Alec asked with a sigh. "Uhm, kind of. Good thing is that I have the entire Friday morning free because that's when most auditions are held." "So, you're auditioning already? I mean nutcracker season is close.", Alec pointed out but Magnus shook his head:" Nutcracker season will have to wait until next year. This project is coming up around midterms and that's kind of in the end stage of nutcracker season and stuff so it would just be a lot and I am not doing that to myself." "That's good.", Alec said and leant back. "It is. And I mean there are sick auditions coming up so I think I'll have plenty of opportunities to try something different. "Are you planing on leaving NYABM after this year?", Alec asked slowly. He was really afraid of that answer. NYABM's tutoring program was based on 4 years maximum and the first three years were compulsory in order to receive the certificate of officially being an NYABM dancer who finished his of her tutoring there. This certificate was worth a lot in the industry so when you got into NYABM you would have to make it through three years to get the big win. But, if you want to you can stay for year four as well. It mainly consisted of masterclasses, competitions and just being on stage. "I have no idea. I love NYABM and this is my family.", Magnus said, "I wouldn't want to leave but with all the auditions you can attend in year three, it's meant to give you the opportunity to fly out and take a chance. In year one you learn the basics, in year two you really go in depth. The real education is basically over after those years. In year three you mainly repeat stuff and put it into a perspective and learn a lot of choreo to be on top of you game. And, you go to auditions. To gain experience, new contacts, make an impression and have a look at the world outside the NYABM. Year three is supposed to be a springboard into the really dance community and if you make the jump, you did everything right. So I don't know what I will do." Alec nodded. He understood what Magnus meant. Sill, it wasn't fully up to him to decide whether to leave or to stay. He believed in Magnus and he knew his boyfriend was a talented dancer but the real world was even rougher than this. The coaches were stricter, the competitions tighter, the dancers even more ambitious. Alec knew, whoever makes it out there had to have thick skin. There were dancers injecting cortisone or painkillers, taking 2 ibuprofen pills a day to dance on sprained joints, broken bones and pulled muscles. The girls used two pairs of point shoes a day, some girl's hair would fall out because of the tight buns they all would have to wear. The guy's hair would fall out because of all the stress,  their bodies would change. And so would their minds. The competition, especially inside a company was insane. There were stories of soloists pushed down the stairs only a week before the performance just so someone else could snatch the spot for themselves. It was cruel out there. A lot more hard than here. It was endangering, but also empowering. Alec has never heard of anything as cruel and as beautiful as the world of ballet. Bolschoi theatre in Moskau, the big stages of Paris, international competitions and completely new interpretations of classic pieces like Romeo and Juliet. The flash lights, the stage floor, the adrenaline y the costumes, the makeup, the strive for perfection, the music, the Corps du ballet moving like one huge body moved by the love of dance- there was nothing as beautiful to Alec. And there was nothing he wanted to do more. And neither did Magnus. To be precise neither did anyone who was in this academy. Because this was all of this was about. It was about getting on those big stages, dancing those huge solos, being with those grand companies, dancing those insane dances. This was what all of this was for. The sacrifice, the time, the effort, the pain, the tears, the sweat, the endless days in the studio and eternal hours in class. It was all to get right there. Into this destructively perfect world of ballet. And he knew he would fit in there. And so would Magnus. But there was no guarantee for them to make it in there. Even though NYABM offers some great opportunities in year three, that doesn't mean they are going to open all doors for you. In fact, there's a high chance they won't open any doors for you. And that was scary. Then all of this might have been for nothing. But it wasn't, Alec knew that. "At least we have something to fight for.", Magnus said and sat down next to Alec. "What else have we left? We gave up so much to be here, it would be foolish to let it all go up in flames. Then all of this was for nothing." "And I definitely didn't study for all those nutrition tests for nothing.", Magnus joked and Alec nodded:" Me neither. Now we are here for one more year and it's our opportunity to make it our year." "Let's do this. With you, I can do anything.", Magnus whispered and turned his face to Alec. "Me too, Magnus.", Alec sighed and gently pressed his lips on Magnus'. This was all he needed. Love and dance.