HeartBREAK

Chapter fifty-eight

Raphael made his way down the stairs to the training room. They had regular ballet classes now, and he was actually looking forwards to them- he just hoped it would distract him from his issues with Maureen. He hasn't talked to her since their fight. He was sick of it. Raphael knew Maureen and him could do better than that, and it was painful that he knew both of them saw Magnus' and Alec's relationship fall apart after they kept secrets from each other. They swore to do better than that. And Raphael was all in. He was all in for the relationship, he was all in for Maureen, through better or through worse. But he felt like it wasn't the same for Maureen. "Hey buddy!", Alec greeted. "Hey.", Raphael replied. Alec looked distracted, and he saw that he noticed something about him as well. With a single gaze they agreed not to talk about it. This was one of the reasons he appreciated Alec so much. He knew if he would want to, he could talk it out to him, but if he wanted to just forget about it Alec would respect that as well. "Class, start warming up, the lesson will begin in ten.", Valentine commanded. He wasn't in a good mood either. While stretching out his back, Raphael's gaze wandered across the room in order to spot Maureen. To his relief, he saw her stretching by the barre. She wore the olive green leotard- his favorite one. Raphael swallowed hard but turned his attention back on himself. But despite his hardest efforts, his gaze kept on wandering to her. A single curl has fallen out of her bun and was now tickling the back of her neck. With a sigh, he peeled his gaze off of it and tried not to remember what her curls felt like. Yesterday nigh he felt guilty about what he had done- he knew how unstable Maureen was after all. But seeing her now, she seemed as okay as someone could be in this situation. "Damn Raph, you could use some sleep.", Simon joked and Raphael grinned weakly. His eyes were swollen and red, his undereyes have formed huge bags, shadows on them. He barely got any sleep last night. "Okay, let's go!", Valentine interrupted and clapped his hands, taking the pressure of replying to that statement off of Raphaels shoulders. Thankfully they did completely new combinations at the barre, which were keeping his mind busy. Despite his desire to not think about Maureen, it was incredible hard to focus. "I have seen better from you.", Valentine criticized while walking past Raphael. "Good job, Alec. Jonathan- not so much. That leg can go a lot higher nd we both know it.", he said as he kept walking. "Maia, think about your feet- this is not what I call pointed." All the corrections merged to one sound in Raphaels brain, until he heard a name. "Maureen.", Valentine said, "This is not very ballerina-ish." Anger rose in Raphael- how dared he. "It's not worth it, she's a strong girl.", Alec whispered from behind him- he must have seen the tension on Raphael. With the help of all his willpower he remained silent and concentrated on his technique. "This is a lot better already.", Valentine congratulated. Raphael scoffed internally. Suddenly someone knocked at the door. "You go on, I will be right back.", Valentine said and walked out of the door without giving anyone the chance to see who was the one interrupting the lesson. A couple minutes later he came back to the room. "Raphael, would you please come with me?", he looked pale and his voice lost its usual harshness. Like in trance, Raphael let go of the bar and peeled his sweaty skin off its wooden structure. Out of the corner of his vision he saw everyone looking at him, pairs of eyes intrigued and questioning. One pair of eyes looked worried. Huge brown eyes. Maureens. But all of that was not important. Raphael walked towards the door and saw Luke standing behind it, his face filled with sorrow. "Listen, Raphael. We just got a call.", he said, his voice shaking. Raphael felt the blood rushing through his body, fear clutching his heard like an iron hand. "Unfortunately, I need to informed you that your grandmother has passed away this morning due to a stroke. My deepest condulances." It felt as if someone has punched him in the stomach, knocking all the air out of his lunges, making his body cramp. "If there's anything we can do for you, please let us know.", Valentine said and gently stroke Raphaels back. He just stood there, frozen. He felt like his heart just shattered into pieces. "You can take all the time you need, we are not going to tell anyone, unless you want us to.", Valentine added, but the words ran through his brain like water through his hands. "Should we get Alec, maybe? Or Maureen?", Luke asked worriedly. "I will be okay.", Raphael replied with a cold voice and slowly walked away, leaving it all behind. The stairs seemed infinite, the hallways eternal. Minutes later he found himself on a kitchen chair, turned towards the window. Raphael looked outside- all he could see were clouds, rain, fog. He couldn't feel any pain, though. When he was younger, he used to have Nightmares of his grandmother passing away and he remembered to wake up in tears, screaming in pain. But the pain was so much worse than he could have ever imagined. It was too powerful to express, it felt like a poisonous snake intoxicating him from the inside and slowly and painfully killing him. His grandmother was the one person that always encouraged him. She always motivated him. She always stood up for him. She always believed in him. She was his shoulder to cry on, the person to turn to. She always understood him in a way nobody else did. And she cared about him more than he cared about himself. And now there was nobody left to care about him anymore. Not in the way she did.

Hello beautiful people!
How is everyone? I just finished my 4h german exam, ugh...
XOXO, AllyMaii