HeartBREAK

Chapter twenty-four

"Magnus!", Alec gasped and knelt down on the cold, wet bathroom floor. Without any hesitation he grabbed Magnus by his arm and pulled him out of the shower. His wet hair made a pattern on his face. Magnus was covered in goosebumps and his lips had a violetish touch. Alec pressed Magnus' cold, wet body against his own, soaking his shirt. "Let's go.", he heard Raphael whisper and him and Simon left. Alec knew better than to ask questions now. He just held Magnus' wet body in his arms and stroke his head. "It's going to be okay.", he whispered, holding back tears, "It's going to be okay."

Magnus couldn't look Alec in the eyes. His head was against his chest, his hair soaking his shirt. All he wanted for the past hours was to see Alec and now that he saw those teary eyes of his he realized what he did. Alec would have broken inside the bathroom, Alec was worried to his bones. And what did he do? He cheated. On his way home he swore himself he would tell him but now he couldn't. He couldn't hurt him like that. He wouldn't survive seeing the disappointment in Alecs eyes, the disbelief on his lips. He could see his skin get even paler, the dark hair badge itself even more. Magnus felt Alecs thin, delicate fingers slide down his back to comfort him. A couple of hours ago, at the photoshoot he was happy, everything seemed so bright, it was as if only neon colors existed. Now he was sad, everything seemed plain, discouraging. His whole world was black and white. The only thing colorful were Alecs eyes. The one thing he loved the most and the one thing he just destroyed. "It's going to be okay.", Alec kept whispering and Magnus started sobbing. He loved Alec so much. He loved all of him. All his dark and twisted sides, his overprotectivness, his sunshiny side, his romantic self. He loved all of his soul. He loved his body, the slim skeleton covered in layers of hard muscles, his silky dark hair, his piercing blue eyes. How could he? Why? "What happened?", Alec whispered. Magnus stuttered- he had no idea what he should say. "Was it about your shooting today?" Magnus swallowed:" I did a bad thing, Alec." "You can tell me about it. Talk to me Magnus.", Alec said and kept on running his hand down Magnus' back. "There was this guy, Lorenzo, at the casting. He gave me a booster. And jumping felt like flying...", Magnus started but was interrupted by Alec's gasp:" You did what? Magnus, did you take a doping pill?" Magnus could see how disappointed Alec was in him. And he couldn't blame him- after all he has been through with his meds last year, he expected him to do better. "He said he used it too and he was so good! And the pill got me the job and at the job I was so scared I couldn't perform so I took another one and then everything was great until-", Magnus kept on talking but stopped. And then what? And then he kissed Lorenzo? "Until what?", Alec asked tensely. He sounded really worried. And scared. And disappointed. "Until everything changed.", Magnus whispered and started crying again. "Hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay.", Alec said and wrapped his arms around a little tighter. The floor was wet and cold, but it was hot compared to the ice in his veins. He felt like he was frozen on the inside. Frozen of worry and disappointment. "Then everything went away, and I didn't feel invincible anymore and I started having these flashbacks.", Magnus sobbed and Alec blew a kiss on his forehead: "It's okay. Once you escape reality, it hits ten times harder when you come back to it." Magnus dried his face on Alec's T-Shirt. "Come on, let's get you dried.", Alec sighed, picked up Magnus and carried him to the bedroom. When he put him down, a pain like a razor blade shed through his knee. Oh come on, not now, Alec thought. Luckily, Magnus didn't notice a thing. After a limo to the bathroom, Alec brought a towel and a hairdryer and dried his boyfriend. "Now go to bed- it has been one hell of a day.", Alec said and put a blanket on him. "I love you, Alec.", Magnus sighed and Alec smiled:" I love you too." He would have to tell him soon, Magnus thought and fell asleep.
Alec waited until Magnus was asleep, changed into dry sweatpants and a dry shirt and then made his way to Raphaels' and Simons' room to bring them their key back. "Hey, it's me, I've got your key.", He said while knocking on the door. Raphael opened immediately:" Hey, man. Is Magnus okay?" "Yeah, he had some flashbacks and stuff, he just had a meltdown. I put him to bed.", Alec replied, "Thanks for the keys. Sorry for freaking out earlier." "It's fine. I would have done the same thing.", Raphael said, "Do you want to come in? We have some spare instant noodles.", Simon asked and Alec grinned:" That would be awesome."  Alec entered the room and sat down on the kitchen chair. His knee felt really tense and Alec couldn't help but groan when sitting down. "You good bro?", Simon asked and Alec nodded. " Yeah.", He said with a tense voice. "Don't pull that crap again, Alec. What's wrong." , Raphael asked persistently. "My knee has been bothering me a bit the past days.", Alec sighed, knowing he just signed his death sentence. "I thought I saw you limping the other day- I was right!", Simon said and knelt down to him, "Can I have a look?" "Sure.", Alec sighed and pulled up his pants. To his surprise, his knee was a lot more swollen than this morning. "Did you have it checked out?", Raphael asked frowning, "That looks nasty." "Not yet.", Alec replied. To be honest, he didn't even think about it yet. "Well, maybe you should. Have you told Magnus about it?", Simon asked and Alec shook his head:" I don't want to worry him with it. He is not mentally stable right now and I am a lot more worried about him and his mental health right now than about my goddamn knee." "Just promise you will have it checked out soon.", Raphael said and Alec nodded- as soon as things with Magnus would settle down, he would take care of it.

Heyhooo! I am sorry it took me so long, I had a terrible writer's block but now it's gone so yayyyy!!! How is everyone social distancing? I hope you guys are doing great!!! Stay safe, stay healthy and stay isolated! Sending lots of love ❤️❤️