Meeting Him Again (TOPS Series #1)

Epilogue

It's been a great experience meeting awesome people, having so many wonderful memories, and building a lot of dreams with them. My TOPS.

They really changed me.

Specially him...

It's been a month since our graduation. Sobrang lungkot magpa-alam sa kanila. Hindi ko na maisip ang college na hindi sila ang kasama. Jill will be having her college in New York, while Allyson will move to Baguio.  Ako? Hindi pa enrolled. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to continue my life in the Philippines or here, in California.

Vince wasn't able to make it during our graduation. Hindi niya nadeliver ang speech niya. At hindi siya nakapag-papicture kasama kami on our special day. Kailangan niyang magpahinga sa hospital non. Nakakalungkot.

I saw him sa club house three days ago, before my flight. Sobrang funny kasi umasa ako na naalala niya na ako ulit. Pero just like the doctor said, magulo pa ang memorya niya at baka makalimutan niya rin agad ang mga bagong memories niya, pero may pag-asa naman na bumalik ang lahat sa dati.

Sa ngayon, pinili ko munang hindi magpakita sa kanya hangga't maaari. Ayoko nang makita ang paghihirap niya tuwing pinipilit na alalahanin ang mga pinag-samahan namin.

" You remember Niel? That mean boy na sinampal ako? I was with him during my whole stay in Philippines. He's still mean though...Sobra! Palagi niya pa rin akong hinihila at sinisigawan para pagalitan. I first saw him sa club house, he saved me from drowning. I tried killing myself days after your burial, mom and dad. I miss you so much, I love you...I felt so guilty..." 

I wipe the tears streaming on my cheeks.  I'm feeling the cold breeze and watch the gray pine trees as it sways along with the wind. I breathe in to let the air fill my lungs...

" I didn't mean lahat ng sinabi ko sainyo, mom and dad! I was so furious back then kaya lahat nangyari 'to. How I wish kasama ko pa kayo ngayon...How I wish, I'd never been furious to you and to him. Mommy, daddy, naulit lahat! Lahat ng pagkakamali ko sa inyo, I became furious and said harsh words to him without knowing na yun na pala yung huli naming pag-uusap na kilala niya pa ako..."

This time, I let my tears fall on my parents' grave. I bit my lower lip and shivered a little...

" Dad, ikaw ha, ipapakasal mo pala ako don! Galit na galit ako dahil kabi-break lang namin ng boyfriend ko nong nalaman ko. I thought he planned that behind my back, I was so angry to you dad, and to Mr. Ibarra when I first found out...Sa kanya ko pa binuhos lahat ng galit ko. Ganito pala kasakit magmahal no? Hindi niyo man lang ako binalaan. You only thought me how to protect myself from bad people. But you didn't tell me that the people whom you love the most, can bring the greatest pain to you..."

" But you now what, mom and dad, kahit wala pa akong plano sa future ko...I will never fail you, or Grannie. That's a thing for sure. And then, maybe, after a long time... when the universe is already tired of playing games with us, I want to meet him again,  I'll make new memories with him, and I'll make sure that he will never forget about me again..."

---

" Are you ready?"

I nodded.

" Now breath deep..."

I closed my eyes and bit my inner cheeks to prevent myself from shouting out loud.

I felt the intense pain the moment the needle touched my bare skin.

I had a tattoo. 

Three small flying birds on my left wrist.

" Beautiful." I commended the tattoo artist and grab my wallet to pay him.